Signing Autographs

Comments overheard at a Passover party this weekend:

Him: So, I am in Wal-Mart today.
AG: Ugh. (Starts blabbering about accidents, urgency, location, etc.)
Him: Right, so there is this old couple behind me. They have a cart and they are pushing it up my ass. (Said in hushed tones) I turn around and almost say: Are you that impatient or just don't want to die in Wal-Mart?
...Pregnant pause...
Oh my g-d, I am becoming AG.
AG: (With hubris under breathe) Proud moment, huh? Stupid coffin dodgers. more...