another set of teeth

As threatened promised, I am inaugurating a brand new FEATURE here at the Empire, hoping to attract just scads of commenters and become a big time blogger like Atrios or Jennifer.  Or maybe just howl into the darkness.  Anyway, here goes the very first installment of Fuck You Fridays.

Rules are pretty simple; there aren't any, really.  I'm going to unleash childish invective and foulmouthed taunts on a variety of targets that currently are spiking my aggro.  Anybody venturing into the blast radius is encouraged to vent their own bile, mock me for my bad attitude, or post cute kitty pictures in order to get me to CALM THE FUCK DOWN.

First on the braining block:  FUCK YOU RONALD REAGAN HAGIOGRAPHERS, FUCK YOU WITH AN IMAGINARY WELFARE QUEEN'S IMAGINARY CADILLAC.  Reagan is already fucking dead, so you know, why bother with him?  but the near-constant attempts to deify the senile sponge-nugget, in the face of all facts and history, brings his pathetic, knob-gobbling sycophantic followers a prime spot in FYF.  A few facts about this manufactured senile excuse for an elected official:

1. Reagan raised taxes ELEVEN FUCKING TIMES during his eight years of doddering figurehead performance.  He had to, in fact, to avoid complete meltdown of America's governmental structure, even in the face of insane borrowing. And yes, this is news to Rush Limbaugh.
2. In fact, he created more deficit THAN THE ENTIRE AMOUNT AMASSED BY THE COUNTRY TO DATE.  He TRIPLED the national debt.  It took a democratic president, of course, to fix it.
3. Reagan was divorced.  And married Nancy because she was pregnant.  He also never really went to church during his presidency.  Not that I care, but it's an out and out lie to present him as a Christian and/or moral  in anything but name.
4. Reagan ignored AIDS, at a time when quicker recognition and action could have prevented thousands of deaths.
5. After his massive tax cuts, aimed at the rich, unemployment jumped to 10 percent. 

I could go on but sheesh.  Just leave the senile old fuck to rot, you moronic authoritarian power worshippers.  Just let him go.  He was only surpassed as a sucky President by GWB, who was likely more stupid, even compensating for the Alzheimer's.   Fuck all y'all dead guy knob-gobblers.

Next up:  FUCK YOU, SCOTT WALKER.  FUCK YOU WITH A WIND TURBINE. WHILE IT'S RUNNING.  True story; last weekend, all the buses in Milwaukee had their reader boards alternating between routes an "Go Pack Go" and one bus we saw even was decked out in full vehicle green and gold livery.  I mused about who paid for the signage, and although I eventually figured the company that did the vinyl signage probably donated it, initially postulated that Walker, on his way out of town, found a couple of thousand extra dollars he hadn't bled out of the County yet.

Because that is the hallmark of his tenure at Milwaukee County executive;  pretend that cutting county taxes by a miniscule percentage was fight for the little guy, although it primarily benefited wealthy white absentee landowners (as it was designed to do) and simultaneously dismantle and destroy County services, which benefit largely low income and poor residents.  Then, things that can't be cut can be sent to private, no bid companies for higher cost and lower service.  And now that the park system and transit system have become a shadow of their former lauded standard, he has moved on to the Big House in Madison, to do the same for our state.

And he hasn't wasted any fucking time, has he?  His first action, taken before he even took the fucking office, was to refuse to participate in a regional high speed rail system connecting Chicago, Milwaukee, Madison and Minneapolis.  Not only does this excise Wisconsin from the financial aspects of this new infrastructure improvement, it caused a rail manufacturer, Talgo, to decide to move their new manufacturing facility back out of Milwaukee;  a facility already under development.

BUT;  just to continue being a squeezebag, he  plans to rollback a policy supporting wind power, which had already started creating good manufacturing jobs in the state.

What a fucking asshole. Fuck You Scott Walker.

Also:  FUCK YOU, DUDE WITH A WHITE TUNDRA WHO PARKS IN THE STRUCTURE ADJACENT TO MY OFFICE; FUCK YOU WITH A BURNING GAS PUMP NOZZLE.  Look, I don't give a shit what kind of oversized penis substitute you drive around.  It's your wallet, and gas isn't going much below 3 bucks a gallon ever again; but seeing as how you and I both share a downtown parking structure that is on the smallish size, IS IT TOO MUCH TO FUCKING ASK THAT YOU LEARN HOW TO PARK YOUR WHITE WHALE BETWEEN THE FUCKING LINES?  And if THAT is really too much for you, howzabout you park one level up, where you can park across two or three spaces with impunity?  Because it is really going to annoy you when somebody gives your thyroidal behemoth a key-stripe job for taking all that extra space in the prime parking spots.

Everybody else that parks there will laugh, though.  Yes, we all notice how you park.  No, nobody thinks you have the right to park like that.  Learn to park or buy a reasonably sized vehicle, you gaseous blob.  Fuck you and your stupid pickup that never has dirt on it.


Finally:  FUCK YOU, ZOMBIE ROTTEN MCDONALD; FUCK YOU WITH A BOX OF ZOMBIE MOVIES. Is it possible for you to be more whiny?  "oh, life is hard, my career is stagnant, I'm ugly..."  And everybody hates you.  Shut up and do something about it.  Sheesh.

Oh, and the zombie thing is stupid and tiresome.  Shut the fuck up already.

In short, FUCK ALL Y'ALL UP ABOVE. more...