So You Know

There is a plethora out there for us non married extra lucky folks:

This

This

This

I am so glad I got off the merry-go round because single people today are so fucked. They are so categorically fucked that some surgical cobag has patented the procedure for their genitals to be surgically latexed. It saves on the condom costs and let's be honest -- that it just hot when you are going for the random hook-up. And if you are an older woman in this patriarchy:

This is really fascinating, what's going on at this table. Let's take you and Erica. You've been around the block a few times. What are you, around 60? 63. Fantastic! Never married, which as we know, if you were a woman, would be a curse. You'd be an old maid, a spinster. Blah, blah, blah. So instead of pitying you, they write an article about you. Celebrate your never marrying. You're elusive and ungetable, a real catch. Then, there's my gorgeous sister here. Look at her. She is so accomplished. Most successful female playwright since who? Lillian Hellmann? She's over 50, divorced, and she sits in night after night after night because available guys her age want something-forgive me, they want somebody that looks like Marin. The over-50 dating scene is geared towards men leaving older women out. And as a result, the women become more and more productive and therefore, more and more interesting. Which, in turn, makes them even less desirable because as we all know, men- especially older men- are threatened and afraid of productive, interesting women. It is just so clear! Single older women as a demographic are about as fucked a group as can ever exist.

Thank you cookie jesus for teaching me the art of schtupping and walking away. Sticking my finger in his tuckus to teach him who is boss before rounding the corner out the door: priceless.