Waiting for Momma...
I become a mother this weekend. The transition occurred over the past few weeks as everyone around me had some sort of advice or tip that would help me reach this moment. Oy gevalt! What have I done? Despite all the sound advice and me trying to back out of all of this, here's what I learned:
1. I don't care what anyone says, I am getting her de-clawed. I watched her chew her hind nails yesterday in an attempt to sharpen them for hurting me more. Not less. I am not paranoid, she did it ostensibly for my bloodletting.
2. Yes, I can get her a scratch box but she's insane and I swear she has been observing me sleep at night in an effort to plot my death.
3. I am not ready for a child. Probably not now, or ever! I want to put some food out and be done with it. Brandeis looks at parenting differently. He holds her, loves, and comforts her even with the slightest chirp. (Yeah, she apparently is on the Twitter because I heard her tweet yesterday.) He will have a needy child, I will have an ambivalent mini AG. I'd like to avoid either one of those scenarios. AG's womb is officially closed to all creatures, ideas, and goys (they fall in category #1, but wanted to make it super clear).
4. Don't pick your cat out until at least 8 weeks post birth. Not only did AG get a Manson signed Tabby cat, AG got one that is not gray tiger. This is not what I saw a few weeks ago. No refund for AG! Wah. Wah.
5. Buy lots of toys for your kitten and give them to her the first night she is home. She'll learn to play on her own, have a grand time, and you do not have to dial down the amount of old vine you consume on night #1. (Mental note: stop at liquor store on way home tonight and buy wine by the case from today forward.)
6. I am pretty much fucked. Anyone want a cute but diabolical kitty?
More photos to be added shortly.
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Violence Is As American As Cherry Pie
1 hour ago
That is the cutest picture.
ReplyDeleteBrandeis totally has the right idea.
Brandeis may find himself tied to the porch with her tonight. Then they'll both appreciate the bed I purchased for her and doing as AG says!
ReplyDeleteYou have my sympathy. Seriously.
ReplyDeletehells yea get them declawed. i'm not much of an animal person to begin with, I dang sure don't want them tearing up my furniture with claws. or scratching my arms and legs, fuggit about it.
ReplyDeletebtw, I was thinking about you all weekend and your economic impact study in alabama. This small town in west virginia (williamson) has a lot of the same "charms", and i use the term lightly. It's amazing how these places are scattered all over the south.
Anyone want a cute but diabolical kitty?
ReplyDeleteGot one. Hasn't fallen off the balcony recently.
They tried. They really, really tried to get me to take one of those evil little creatures. Ain't gonna happen. Ever.
ReplyDeleteI have dogs.
DG, I wish I had been smart like you. I think she only has one more left to find a home for. She may have two if I bring her back!
ReplyDeleteAw I love diabolical kitties. Even when they are scratching the shit out of my stuff. Mine is almost one now and is totally mental. But she's my baby.
ReplyDelete