Sunday, April 19, 2009

Meeting Across The River


There was, indeed, a meeting.


1. It may be said that while TUSTOSAN lives up to the acronym, it is also one of the most aggressively divergent neighborhoods ever invaded by zombies. It was like Summerfest as envisaged by David Lynch and John Waters.

2. There has been discussion elsewhere about the gender of one P.Lover. All that may be said at this point is that zombies are no good at sexing shorebirds. Hmpf. plovers are, however, taller than you would expect, as well as being accepted in Thai restaurants.

3. Pinko Punko is trying to kill me. First by encouraging shambling up some steps; then through the wanton application of spicy papaya salad; finally through D or D Death, first trying unnaturally colored malted milk 'candies' then through the wanton deployment of chocolate skittles. Unplanned for, though, was the ability of the Winner of Who Wants To Marry a Zombie (WOWTMAZ) to ingest bad candy with no harm, thus neutralizing any threat from this quarter.

3A. However, it is probably a bad idea to enjoy many drinks while PP cannot, if this is the form of retribution.

3B. Food recommendations from these folks are always to be considered gospel. Case in Point: Humphry Slocombe.

4. Bob's donuts is total late night awesome. Obviously, alcohol was involved.

5. A Well Rounded Nerd is a necessary component in any TUSTOSAN adventure. Also, 3Bulls never updates their sidebar links.

6. "I wish Snag was my father." Obviously, alcohol was involved.

7. Apparently, the motherhood books out there now counsel AGAINST bringing a newborn into urine-soaked tranny bar districts. Who would think. Maybe next time we will visit a Chuck E. Cheesus.

8. Pork was snorkeled.

9. A fish was destroyed.

10. no brains were eated. Probably. In the onslaught of tasty, spicy Thai in massive, affordable amounts, it was hard to be certain.

11. Midwestern zombies are pretty easy to pick out in a standard west coast bar environment. Not because of the undead thing though, that seems to be pretty well accepted in SF.

12. Touring wine country and then flying halfway across the country is NOT an effective hangover cure. Try bacon.


More to come, because odd as it may seem, San Francisco has more to offer than drinking in the Tenderloin.

17 comments:

  1. Tease...

    Also:

    first trying unnaturally colored malted milk 'candies'Hey! Those were supposed to be winging their way HERE! And now they've been pawed by zombies as well??? Pffft!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I offered to hand deliver them. Provided you send the hand back.

    ReplyDelete
  3. because odd as it may seem, San Francisco has more to offer than drinking in the Tenderloin.I remain unconvinced, so long as Zodiac and whatever that hellaciously cheap scotch bar was called are classified as being in the 'Loin.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "I wish Snag was my father." Obviously, alcohol was involved.Funny, because no amount of alcohol makes me glad I'm a father.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I hope you got your shots apriori.

    Oh, and fuck you for not coming to PHL. You can find your own way out of No. PHL the next time you are here, bitch.

    Call me later, K?!

    ReplyDelete
  6. because no amount of alcohol makes me glad I'm a father.But it can be considered directly responsible for you becoming a father.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Mitchell's ice cream. MITCHELL'S ICE CREAM!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Mitchell's is the best. RB, you wins.

    ReplyDelete
  9. No, we didn't do any shots. An oversight, I think.

    No fair sucking up to AG, bub. I call shenanigans and penalize you fourteen Lileks.

    ReplyDelete
  10. MenD, cheap drinking is NOTHING until we've bar-hopped in Riverwest.

    Plus, Umbrella drinks At Random. Milwaukee stands second to NO ONE in consumption. Plus, one of my good friends is a cab driver, so we are covered.

    YES IT IS A ZOMBIE CHALLENGE.

    ReplyDelete
  11. The malted milk balls, obviously extruded from some nameless Elder Confectionid which squats in deliquescent splendor in a stygian be-glowing-eldritchly-fungus-ed lair, were colored in flocculent pastels and tasted of the primordial miasma in ways that violated the evidence of one's other senses.

    Chocolate skittles are apparently a sort of kernel of congealed Elemental Chaos -- the kind of essence an Elder Confectionid might grope toward reproducing through the deranged modulation of its secretions.


    re #3: Shouldn't that be WOWWTMAZ? Or is it some kind of collapsible W?

    Somehow it shouldn't be surprising that someone who could win "Who wants to marry a zombie?" might have the talent of consuming unnatural confectionary abominations with no ill effects.

    re #6: Was it?

    re #9: Well, it was a very tasty fish. (And shorebirds are, um, thorough?) I can attest that no branes were harmed (at least by ingestion) in the course of this process.

    ReplyDelete
  12. OK, I just woke up GC with my silent laughing shaking the bed like someone put a quarter in it.

    Mitchell's is chewy and not favored in my mouth, while Humphry is like eating the most delicious frozen creamy butterfat.

    I must have details. Also, aren't you glad that there is nowhere to go but up after a chocolate skittle? The underside of the TUSTOSAN graffiti van would taste like the finest ambrosia after such.

    ReplyDelete
  13. My last captcha was "IMBILLIN" which was what ZRM said after "brownie batter."

    Jennifer must be informed that I sanitarily aliquoted the Whoppers from their carton. Her Whoppers have not rolled around TUSTOSAN. They are safe at home, soon to be mailed. And coming from the 18 month old Peep-o-holic, I think freshness isn't an issue.

    ReplyDelete
  14. herr doktor bimler4/21/2009 4:19 AM

    PZ Myers is heavily into zombie-denial:
    http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2009/04/theoretical_ecology_of_vampire.php

    ReplyDelete
  15. And coming from the 18 month old Peep-o-holic, I think freshness isn't an issue.Hey!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Shouldn't that be WOWWTMAZ? Or is it some kind of collapsible W?
    Obviously, alcohol was involved.

    ReplyDelete
  17. pLover?

    Be. still. my. beating. heart.

    Reid, I cannot marry you. I have fallen in love with another. You add MdHatter into that love triangle, and AG will never leave the house!

    Bub, I am the boss here. As you were...

    ReplyDelete