So Close, Yet So Far Away

I was reading the commentary section of last week’s Philadelphia Inquirer on Thursday and came across George Curry’s article on the Pope’s recent declaration of g-d being able to smite all of us who believe in science, medicine, research, and public health. It’s all because condoms do not reduce the transmission of HIV, despite what my scientific training and the CDC has told me. I have largely avoided the Pope’s comments because I am an atheist Jew who does not believe in any of that hocus pocus that organized religious institutions peddle*. As such, the Pope, his doctrines, and the words that come out of his mouth are consistently denounced by me on an apriori based upon his link to Catholics and magical beliefs.

There I am reading Curry’s pithy prose shaking my head while laying in bed on Sunday morning until I reach the bottom of the first column of text. Curry writes, “Adults under the age of 30 and teenagers together accounted for 34% of new HIV infections in 2006. Yet, for years, our government has pursued so-called abstinence-only programs. Sure, we should encourage teens to refrain from sexual intercourse until they are married.” That is when I put down the article and feel the Kung-fu Panda moves kicking in. Less than 5,000 words before this, Curry is crying out about our unease to discuss sexuality with children and especially condom use. As such, his language is paradoxically and at odds with the crux of his very argument that he is claiming himself not to be a part of.

We no longer live in a world where people need to wait until marriage. We are lying to children if we are telling them this is the value system that their adult mentors believe in. For example, 40% of children born in America last year were to unwed mothers. 50% of marriages fail today, yet many people go on to cohabitate in non married, heterosexual households, with children living in them, after divorce. Thus, adults do not value waiting until marriage themselves.

What we value and what needs to be espoused to children is waiting until they are emotionally and physically ready to have sexual relations. The yardstick by which I measure this in young adults is through condoms, the precise topic Curry wants to talk about with children. I have often argued that a young adult should not be having sex if s/he is not comfortable walking into a drugstore or discount retailer and purchasing adequate contraceptive without feeling embarrassed. S/he should also know how to properly identify the safest and most effective methods of birth control and how to properly use them. Now I know there are plenty of adults who do not feel comfortable doing this and to them I would suggest the same as I do to young adults and early 20 somethings: you have no business engaging in sex then.

Very similar to how law is carved out in the US, there is a means test. That is to say, we do not allow children to drive a car until we think they have reached the age of maturity and have passed mandatory driving examinations. We hold children accountable for what is morally and scientifically reasonable at their age and mental capacity when they commit crimes. Sexual intercourse should be no different. Therefore, I feel as though Curry made as much of a faux pas as the Pope. While the Pope denounces science and fact, he does so under the guise of religion. Curry denounces current trends and cultural beliefs that are not shared by him under the guise of religion, which suggests that virginity is about morality and women being Mary. Sounds like patriarchy, which is at the very core of religion and something I wish to have no part of today, tomorrow, or in the future.

*I respect those of you who do believe in organized religion, g-d, science, and/or progress. I just ask that we not discuss it here because it is not in my interest to do so.