Last night started out in the usual kind of way that AG weekend nights go. However, it ended starkly different than any other night. In fact, this night was vastly different than all other nights. It began around 9:45 when I got a call on my way towards the door from a male friend. He was complaining that he had nothing to do and wanted to know what my plans were before me. After a crazy Friday night, I was eager to go into Philadelphia and be with my girls. I had a plethora of catching up to do and frankly, I wanted to get my drinkie girl flirt on. Thus, I did not want to offer up something to a XY chromosome. Clearly if he crashed, it would ruin my chances for making out with random Dixie Cups and playing Mardi Gras peek-a-boo sports in Olde City.
But he persisted and it was getting late as I was already on the Main Line and within picking up distance. We started out in Museum District, much to my begging and pleading against this idea. The girls shortly thereafter poured into the joint upon our arrival. The good news was two fold: I can purchase Stag's Leap in the district upscale places (and get it paid for by others) and since we had my male Jewish Sugar Daddy company, if things went where I was a bit concerned they would, I had a boy of tribe to hold me back when I took swings. After all, my girls would all want swings themselves and nobody was holding anyone back if we were flying solo.
I was already a good glass and a half into the Cabernet when I knew I wasn't driving home anytime soon. (I had gone running yesterday and never bothered to eat anything.) As the fog and mist began to settle upon me, we packed it in and moved shop to Olde City. We grab a taxi and made our way across town. Not the best of ideas, in hindsight. As we stood shoulder to shoulder in the bar, I began to look around for little Cracker Jack prizes to play with AG. I mean, it's Saturday night, I did my hair, I had on black, and I wanted attention. As my eyes made cascades across the room, I noted a group of what appeared to be Drexel, possibly Villanova kiddies, and teetered off to left of center.
I was working my boys, who by the way are loving the AG and have already purchased two more glasses of wine for her, when Jew Boy (JB) shows up about 15 minutes into it. He gets up in their grills about showing me some respect and some other verbal garbage I don't remember and/or couldn't hear. With that I grabbed the back of JB's belt and pulled him on the sidewalk. Glitter and sparkles flew through the air as AG made a bit of scene.
I demanded within seconds of pushing him up against the brick mortar to know why the hell he thought he was my overlord. He started sputtering something about being tired of the AG routine. (Apparently, he's been reading over here and thinks this is all sooo wrong.) He proceeded to tell me I have no self respect, I am a whore, and if I were raped last night -- I would have deserved it and he would have watched.
Fade to black. Shine the light on the fourth wall.
I let into JB like I had no right. I did not hold back. Cowboy got torched in half as I let him know what I thought about his little attitude and misogynistic statements. After I ate him up and spit him out because he was too bitter, he had the chutzpah to say to me that I always do this when I drink which only proves his point more about the fact that I deserve what I get. "Really?" I said. I have gone drinking with JB twice before and I never got loud, out of control, or flirty on those occasions. Thus, I was unclear of the court records he has in archives. Seems to me that cowboy has himself quite an imagination.
I stood frozen for a few seconds on the sidewalk. Do I throw punches? Did I walk away? Did I stand there and exchange more verbal assaults? Within seconds, I whirled back into the bar, grabbed my coat, and headed for my cousin's house. A concern for how JB was getting home was no longer a concern at all for me. I also had no concern for us being friends again. Ever. There is a line that you do not cross with AG. That line is when you say you're friends and then chase that with "You deserve some man throwing you down on the bar and fucking you in front of everyone to make the point. Maybe then you'll knock this shit off." The line is a dot to him now. As is AG.
Are we really still talking like this in 2009? I am just sick and speechless.
Midday Palate Cleanser
49 minutes ago
"But, Your Honor, look at how she was dressed, she was ASKING for it."
ReplyDeleteThat's what he did, basically. Ask any fucking judge in America how that shit flies these days.
Never mind, I'll tell you: it doesn't. And as far as teaching AG a little lesson goes, I'll offer only this: the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
And if he had stood by while AG got raped, I would tear him apart with my bare hands and laugh while I did it. You bloody well ACT when that happens.
I'm sorry you had such a horrendous night and experienced that with a supposed "friend." Really, really out of line and I'm glad you told him what was what.
ReplyDeleteStay safe, AG!
Reid, thank you. Thank you for what you said offline too.
ReplyDeleteBG, it's weird but I am glad it happened. I am learning to defend myself and remove toxic people much sooner than I did it the past. I also understand something deeper about male bravado and patriarchy because of it.
i dont know what any of you are talking about
ReplyDeletehttp://monstrula.de/filme/hideoussundemon/still3.jpg
For the whore thing I'd have busted his nose. And then laughed. And told him he was asking for it.
ReplyDeleteI dunno, Annie. He kinda sounds to me like the kind of guy who'd then proceed to woman-beating...
ReplyDeleteAG, how do you manage to put so much drama in your life? It must be quite draining....
Besides, you obviously don't realize that by being out in public, you, as a female, become the property of any males within distance, and especially one who knows your name. So he was just protecting his property rights, which were being sullied by your drinking alcohol purchased by other, non-approved males...
You know how BP, moving to feckin' PA-tuckey. The single men in my demographics are psycho here.
ReplyDeleterelated:
ReplyDeletehttp://shakespearessister.blogspot.com/2009/02/real-men-and-rape.html
He kinda sounds to me like the kind of guy who'd then proceed to woman-beating...
ReplyDeleteWoman beating? I'm a woman so therefore some random guy obviously has the ability to beat me? I'd can take care of myself and would have, thanks.
But even if not, I'd have happily taken a few so that the crowd from the bar would have jumped him, no sweat.
AA, I imagine you can take care of yourself, didn't mean to suggest otherwise. Kinda suspect AG can too.
ReplyDeleteYou know, my only point was that from this admittedly low-info POV, this guy seemed like the sort who was full of weird patriarchal, ownership style notions about women's roles and proper behavior, which usually goes hand in hand with personalities that seem to like to physically abuse people who are weaker than they..
Besides, even under the best defense situation, even a couple of lucky hits can result in serious physical damage...
All I was saying was that here's a guy who claimed to be a friend; now acting quite different and it wouldn't take much more behavioral change to progress all the way to a violent assault. Not trying to denigrate you. In fact, I hadn't even mentioned you I was kind of talking to AG.
But of course, if I'm out of line here, I can just retire my whole fuckin blog and you all can find another place to hang out with AG.
Sheeesh.
OK, let's take a big step back.
ReplyDeleteWe seem to have a miscommunication issue. BP, you know you are still El Presidente of this here union of states. We defer to your spoken word except for banning your tuckus. AG refuses to give you that. Ever.
OK, AG, maybe I over reacted.
ReplyDeleteYou know, lately I've been using my free time to expand my instruction duties in our taekwondo school.. Been teaching the kiddies (and adults), especially the behaviorally challenged. Every month, we have a theme that we use to help teach and direct all the students.... this month it's courtesy.
I am happy to be courteous to all the visitors here, as long as they return the favor...
See, here's the thing. My instructor also teaches a self-defense and rape prevention class, mainly attended by women. Every cycle I volunteer my time to act as an attacker and give these folks an opportunity to use the (very effective) techniques against a real person. I don't hold back, and neither do they. Often times, they will respond without thinking, with force and accuracy. I take direct and forceful hits; happy to do so.
See, the point is to get them to believe, really believe, that the techniques that they've learned are effective and that they can be used very simply and instinctively. I believe in helping them to learn basics of self defense, because I know that you can't tell the difference between a friend an attacker until too late. As a smart woman said on another blog "The rape culture is alive and well"
And while I recognize the fact that I will never have to face walking around the same way women do, I also feel like, you know, one guy can only do so much to eff the patriarchy on his own, and that maybe it's less than productive to jump all over an ostensible ally?
Maybe I'm wrong.
I'm sorry, AG. I wish I could've been there to sodomize him with my shoe. Fuck him and his ilk. The AG deserves trust and respect.
ReplyDelete