(sorry, folks, a little inside dialogue here for a minute)
Smiling Chocolate JESUS, Zelmo!!!
you hadn't warned me about our fascist ex-boss. He's really not aging well, is he?
Is that hair coloring? It's like Calvin's hair, colored in with a yellow marker!!!!
I came around the corner where he's putting up that monstrosity, and he was walking with the Natrosexual ( Who looks JUST THE SAME, like he's been in the freezer for fifteen years)
(Incidentally check out the comments in this thread. Not complimentary).
BUT old Pedro, man, what's up with that skin? You know, a bottle of bronzer is supposed to LAST, dude, it's not just one application!! But it does give him that pleasing orange glow.
Holy Living FUCK. I nearly drove into a nun.
(bleach. shudder.)
Shit, I could barely eat lunch.
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I guess it's *totally* inside dialog since you seem to be talking only to yourself here.
ReplyDeleteMy best conversations are with myself.
ReplyDeleteHeh. Zelmo's a no-show. What else is new.
Hey! Zelmo! I got tickets to see a band! WANNA GO?
Oh why even ask.
Yee Gad. I can't believe the city approved this. Wait 'til Whitney gets a hold of it.
ReplyDeleteI call this monstrosity "Balconies 'R Us". Kind of looks like a toilet tank with windows.
Zelmo, email me a picture of Pedro. One of Natro too, if ya got em.
ReplyDeleteYee Gad. I can't believe the city approved this. Wait 'til Whitney gets a hold of it.
ReplyDeleteyeah. The building's pretty ugly too.
HA! Thankyew, I'll be here all week!
No really, PR always did have a thing for Albert Speer. Nazi Monumentality and all that. I like the guy in that thread above that said it was as ugly as the building it is going to replace. Is it a surprise that Mr. Grandma's Kitchen is no good at vertical buildings?
Solar Collectors?
Gould usually waits for the built item to slag it, but as I recall, she has already taken a pre-emptive strike at this one.
Bleech!
ReplyDeleteI just found his fakebake mug on his website. You're supposed to buy a condo from this guy?
He appears to be the poo-headed lovechild of George Hamilton and Anderson Cooper.
And what the hell is with the vestigial brackets on the parapet "sun shade"? Can you say "proportional transgression?". There's a good idea: take his equally awful 3 story riverfront condos and extrude them to 20 floors. Yep, that'll look good.
ReplyDeleteI am particularly amused by the miniscule residential-scaled bay windows that attempt to break the sheer blank walls, like bad fake tits on a heroin-ravaged whore.
ReplyDeleteI love this architecture talk!!!
ReplyDeleteYea, we're all about the archi-jargon, from "Poo-headed love child" (I'm so using that at AG's place) to 'heroin ravaged whore'
ReplyDeleteI actually like "Break Wind" better than "Break Water."
ReplyDeleteMaybe you should suggest it.
~Oswegan
too bad you can't do a LOLboss.
ReplyDeleteo hai! orange iz not natchural?
"like bad fake tits on a heroin-ravaged whore."
ReplyDeleteWould Michael McDonald say that???
Danny Gans would.
ReplyDeleteEven better? He shafts a few floors for the fuck of it by refusing them the shitty balconies.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell ever happened to style? This building is reminiscent of the early Leninate period of construction.
"Let's level a thriving town and shove everybody in a 30 mile radius into two high rises and call it a city. Electricity will be added at a later date to be determined after the Grand National Party Meeting of Fatcats."