Can I Take My Gun To Heaven?

Okay, a senseless, violent massacre by an unstable guy with legal, and easy, access to guns. What's been to say? It's an anomaly and regardless of the monday morning quarterbacking, nearly impossible to prevent. It's not a symptom of degradation in society. It's not linked to violent video games. It's not a lack of religion (seriously, have you ever seen a time when God-baggery was MORE prevalent?) It's not even a lack of a good breakfast. Well, maybe we oughta revisit that last.

It's unpredictable, which, if you look up the meaning, says it can't be predicted and therefore can't be prevented. Sorry to say it, bedwetters and chicken hearts, but life can't be safety-proofed.


However, one of those Ultra-liberal Professors (known in some circles as Instaputz) Has broached a semi-solution: Arm all the students. Yes! (See, Lasee here in Wisconsin was on the cutting edge of Modern Safety Progress)

Now, before you go all half-cocked and start calling me some bleeding-heart, know that I fully support this initiative. I love this plan!

You see, I am an Architect, and am aware that as professions go, we are very much underpaid (although in opinion surveys, very widely respected, much higher than Lawyers and Doctors. Go figure). Especially here in Wisconsin. I attribute this, at least in part, to the abundance of us. There's just too many!

Well, Glenn's idea would take care of that. Simply. Elegantly. I remember people flipping out on a regular basis in architecture school; breaking down, crying, destroying their projects and equipment, often times leaving the studios and never coming back. About once a week during the latter half of semesters.

Now, if those less-tightly-screwed-together students would be packing, it would thin the herd, so to speak. Fewer students = fewer graduates = fewer architects. Bingo! Immediately, we become more valuable. As an added factor, the deterrent effect would help keep college enrollments low.

See, this is an excellent idea! I love this idea! what could possibly go wrong!

Know what I especially love about this idea? As a professor, Old Man Reynolds would be on the front lines. That's gotta get the blood pumping; an old war vet like him.....what? Not a vet? But...all the war worshipping..

Today, class, we'll be looking at matrix integrals....

blam! blam!

(from behind desk) Okay, Jenkins, one more shot and I'll mark you down a grade!

Blam!

That's it! (budda-budda-budda-budda! ) Jenkins, you're off the Marching Band!

(because of course, if the students are armed, the teachers need automatic weapons to maintain classroom superiority)

Now, back to matrices.... (door creaks)

(Blam) Ooops, sorry Dean. But you need to knock before entering...

Not to mention the improvement to pep rallies and homecoming games.