Friday Random Ten: the Improbably Cool Edition

Our FRT Goddess, Lauren has officially endorsed and participated in the Norbizness Coolness Self Audit (NCSA)! Yay!

She comes out at 65.33% Cool. Or much cooler than I've been able to register. Which should come as no surprise to anyone.

Here Goes (desktop iTunes, 14,020 songs, 38.3 days of music from 897 artists)

DEVO - Jocko Homo (the original version, not the 'prettied up' one that was released later). Originators of the concept of de-evolution, which we are currently living. Now Mark Mothersbaugh does music for Nickelodeon. A friend once performed this song wearing a plastic grocery bag. NCSA: 9/10

Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody). from when the Heads were more than just Byrne's backing band. And Jerry Harrison is from Milwaukee; in school, I had a studio project to design a house for David Byrne, based on the music of Talking Heads. More Buildings About Songs and Food. The Center Does not Hold; Home is where I want to be, I guess this must be the Place. NCSA: 7/10

Joe Jackson - Fools IN Love. Saw a recent solo show he shared with Todd Rundgren. Very entertaining, but this song is from way back when he was working with one of the great New wave Backing Bands; and before he started shedding fans by style hopping like GW Bush changed rationales for the Iraq war. NCSA: 7/10

Blondie - Heart of Glass. Bleagh. Unnecessary disco- influenced song by one of the CBGB pioneers; created to mainstream the band into a hit. the rock version is much better; but Blondie's other good work saves this from descending into Norbizness' latest FRT innovation: negative ratings. NCSA: 2/10

They Might Be Giants - Shoehorn With Teeth. The Johns, back from when Dial a song was 'Free if you call from work' Spend a couple of hours trying to make sense of the lyrics. John and John never even tried to make their music cool, but simply reveled in their ardent geekiness. 8/10

Game Theory - All Clockwork and No Bodily Functions Makes Hal a Dull Metal Humbert. A sprawling instrumental with the most entertainingly meaningless name from Scott Miller, Certified Unappreciated Musical Genius. NCSA: 10/10

Mighty Mighty Bosstones - Enter Sandman. Excellent, dude. A metal/ ska cover of an excellent Metallica tune. Definitely the preferred version; Harder and faster than the original. Sleep with one eye open, indeed. NCSA: 9/10

Jello Biafra - Excerpt from 'The Green Wedge' Jello's spoken rants are pretty cool, but this is an unnecessary dialogue about the Green Party and 'becoming the media'. Start a blog, Jello. But again, his good work prevents this from becoming a total coolkill on this week's FRT. Check out his latest album with the Melvins instead. NCSA: 2/10

Neil Young - Transformer Man. From Trans, Neil's most underappreciated album. He wrote these songs with the vocals all garbled and electronically treated, as a way of understanding and empathizing his son's non-oral quadriplegia. NCSA: 8/10

Gear Daddies - Color of Her Eyes. Austin roots-band by way of Minneapolis, Martin Zellar's original band. Another gem of a band, lost to label disinterest. NCSA: 7/10

And that's ten. Well, that was most non-representationally good. How will a bonus five treat me?


The Handsome Family. - A Shadow Underneath. wow- chicago duo that specializes in muted, country influenced dirgey ballads. If you like Nick Cave, this appeals. But painfully cool, So Good It Hurts. 10/10.

X - Motel Room IN My Bed. A classic. If you haven't heard X, do so immediately. If you don't like X, you're wrong. NCSA: 8/10

Mekons - Only Darkness Has The Power. Again, it's a good day when iTunes feeds up a Mekes song; this is from one of my favorite albums (Rock n Roll), when they were flirting with a major label. Very nearly successful; but fortunately, they destroyed their chances with the next album (Curse of the Mekons) which was literally too good for A&M. NCSA: 10/10, I don't care what you say.

Cowboy Mouth - Friends. Incredibly fun live band. See them at Summerfest. 7/10

The Mekons - Alone and Forsaken. Alright, now the machine is just trying to suck up. The Mekes INVENTED alt/country on this album (Honky Tonkin) . Wilco should send half of their royalties from every one of their albums to the Mekons. 10/10

Coolness of the First Ten: 69%. way cooler than possible.
Additional Five Averaging. 76%. Don't you believe it.