Getting Even

I loathe the security organization and the policies they enforce on the campus where I make a living. It is not run by the the organization that employs me. Instead it's a third party paid for by the organization that my organization rents space from. I know, see what I did there all Ferris Bueller like!

Anyhow, let me tell you, these people are sick. Sick, yo! They give out tickets for going 21 MPH, not 20. They give out tickets for having a camera on your Blackberry, even though it's a company SUPPLIED Blackberry. They require staff to badge out on days when people have a temp badge because theirs is at home. Oh wait, the temp badge has no electronic key in it to 'badge out'. But do not use your Blackberry in that situation to call security staff about this and you cannot yell or walk towards a security guard either when this happens. Aaargh!

You get the point. As the eponoymous Hall Monitor of 3061, AG's colleagues love her. Seriously, they make copies of their tickets and leave them under my door because they know I WILL find out. They do this because they especially adore her constant 'fuck yous' to security. Note, I've never received a ticket and I have gotten "into it" with more than one officer. However, I sit around and think of new ways to take those plastic badges on. So, today I came up with an epic idea:

When my kitty baby passes away, I am having her stuffed. Then I am going to display her in my office. While official campus policy is that you may not bring live animals onto the campus, despite the campus being an official state animal santurary. This is in addition to the fact that I visit the monkeys in another building from time to time to look at their urine void samples. Yes, it's true. I visit with them when I go to discuss urine void samples and collections. Monkey urine is big business where I am employed.

Getting back on track, after one of the monkey's arms was broken by a rough handling tech, I am adamant that I have a relationship with each one and that our techs understand humanity towards "my girls". So, you get the point about the paradox of the rules by the plastic badge silly people.

I mention this idea about kitty to my colleagues today. It did not go over as well as I had planned in my head. One of them said to me, "Blog that and let me know how many people tell you that you are creepy." I said "My (What am I -- Moses?) blog peeps will understand that in stuffing the little one I am not only 'sticking it to da man', I am super awesome for having the idea and being a lover of my little girl. Go ahead, tell me that I am awesome, because I am.