Sharing the Wealth

What angers me is that we as a society believe that the surface is an easier scratching post . The reason these individuals cheated is more interesting than with who or how often. Media and many within society have yet again missed the point with regards to the recent news about Tiger Woods.

Men cheating on women (and vice versa for that matter) is not about how many times or with whom. It is about what leads to the desire and behavior vis a vis denial of monogamy. Too often partners (especially women) blame themselves for their partners, lovers, spouses infidelity. And yet for the majority of them, there is little connection between their actions and the extra curricular affairs of others.

A researcher at the University of Montreal (I know, but the researcher is French and probably wants Montreal to detach.) conducted a series of studies on cheating. The first in the series was conducted on 145 students with an average age of 23. Some 68 percent had thought about cheating and 41 percent had actually cheated. Sexual satisfaction aside, the results indicated a strong correlation between infidelity and people with an avoidant attachment style.

The second study was conducted on 270 adults with an average age of 27. About 54 percent had thought about cheating and 39 percent had actually cheated. But the correlation is the same: people with an avoidance attachment style are more likely to cheat.

"Infidelity could be a regulatory emotional strategy used by people with an avoidant attachment style. The act of cheating helps them avoid commitment phobia, distances them from their partner, and helps them keep their space and freedom."

Both these studies were followed up by two other studies that asked about the motives for infidelity. The will to distance themselves from commitment and their partner was the number one reason cited.

These studies revealed no differences between men and women. Just as many men and women had an avoidance attachment style and the correlation with infidelity is just as strong on both sides. Contrary to popular belief, infidelity isn't more prevalent in men than women according to the studies.

Given these findings, it does not seem worthy to compare public figures who have engaged in infidelity. Someone should inform media outlets about these studies. Maybe they could then actually report real news with actual facts and pose important questions.