Megan McCain thinks She is Dear Abby

This is the timeless gift that I suspect will keep on giving for days to come.

Megan M. McCain in all of her 24-year-old glory has something to tell us single gals. Who knew the demon spawn of ignorance and Tammy Faye Baker v 2.0 could form a sentence, let alone tell us single ladies, and poltico Daddies something. I mean, she's put in like what, three years since graduating Columbia and she speaks for all 20 somethings? Additionally, I might argue she would like to spread her wing span and suggest this is for all women.

AG may have graduated Columbia, albeit, with a real degree and the medical school a year earlier than her, but even our beloved AG doesn't post low hanging flub like this out for the world to see. Largely because this kind of unresearched, non p-value supported, and narrow audience -- AG Momma's; political daughters, is not what is expected from a CUMC graduate, let alone one who graduated Cum Laude. Sorry, but even AG casts her goyim net a bit wider than that. We should all pause for a moment and remember this is the daughter of two conservatives. The party that only gives a shit about mentally ill people, learning disabled children, those of color, and state school graduates when it is a benefit to them. Since this is not a year ending in 12, wah. wah. Game over.

Before I rip it wide open, can we discuss something here? Generation Y, or as AG calls in Generation Mini Mart because they were conceived on cheap condoms from A Plus Market and had slurpees packed with Ritalin in their baby bottles, hasn't a god damn clue about the world. Um hello, at least us end year Xers were kewl enough to have Bambergers NJ or Gimbel's CT and Prozac for everything else. Furthermore, we didn't have the grade inflation that McCain was awarded during her days in the Upperwestside Ghetto. In fact, some of us may have actually sat an SAT before there was an SAT I and II and essay portions. Granted we may have been 13, but still. This means these are the kiddies who only know about Reganomics based upon what Momma and Poppa taught them. They don't remember Nancy Regan on Different Strokes, nor can they tell me what Channel 13 is and why it matters so much to the world. They can however tell me how to use an ATM to make a sandwich, deposit money, and get a blow job.

So, Whisky Tango Foxtrot! I am still having a hard time getting my head around the fact that if you like someone you meet, you must Facebook them. I guess that's what AG has been doing all wrong. Silly single AG. What the hell was I doing getting a medical degree, a prestigious liberal arts degree Summa Cum Laude, making six figures before turning 30, and owning a home in one of America's most sought after counties. I should have just bought an iBook, a Mr. Happy off of Amazon, and waited by the modem. Flagged and fridge noted. The next time I'm standing around a cocktail party of interesting Jewish men who have graduated Harvard Law School or have faculty slots at the University of Alabama, I'll be sure to be all, "Let me Facebook you."

Oh for the love of goat's milk! AG has already done that and got busted recently for suggesting to one boy of tribe he had not FB'd me hard when he had. So cute, so IT capable, and so single...

Enough. Ms. McCain sets forth an interesting juxtaposition that is the crux of the issue here that she has overlooked. She does not care how her friends vote, but men who don't believe in hatred, bigotry, ignorance, and crapping all over the poor better take a long walk off a short sidewalk. While I can appreciate not wanting to be with someone whose party and Daddy believes in family values and then talks about her unmarried libido in a public forum, I want that in my friends too. As my birthday twin once said to AG, "If I think for one god damn second you voted for any Bush, I am tossing your pale Jewish ass out of this car."

I get that. Along with the fact that I will never date the Republican, Jewish, Adam Sandler. AG doesn't show hymen for homophobes heretics. Sorry. She won't show her perky ones for any Republican. Jew or not Jew. (I know!) It doesn't matter whether they are an innie or outtie. Yet, Ms. McCain needs to get over herself and live an examined life. Stop blaming her Daddy for the fact that she cannot get laid. I would suggest it is a mix of her ignorance, her spoiled princess complex, and her drollness that was passed through her DNA expression that makes her vaginally unappealing.

I don't know about y'all but there is something appealing about Amy Carter, Tricia Nixon, and Chelsea Clinton. While Tricia's only appeal to me is a shared Alma Mater, I think it's about the fact that these women blazed their own paths. Chelsea got into Stanford and now Columbia, all on her own. She dated all on her own, and came of age on her own. She didn't go off and write a blog that was all, "Vote for my Mommy because I am Chelsea Clinton and I have nipples." I am not sure I can say that much for a Palin or McCain child. Especially when Ms. McCain rants about the fact that she cannot get a woody for a Democrat, those who are obsessed with her Daddy (other than Karl Rove, I am not sure that's possible frankly.), or by mere virtue of being a political daughter. I hate to be her bearer of bad news, but those are not the viable reasons for why she stays home at night and watches marathons of MTVs the Real World.

Don't get me wrong, I came from a prestigious family that one blogger has never met because honestly, most people cannot handle the truth about who I am related to (Remember, AG parents lived in the same town as Tucker Carlson at one point. Damn him for bringing down home prices!) Furthermore, they cannot figure out when they do how I am so normal, I misspell, cuss like a sailor, and do not have any of that trust funding coming my way anymore. The parents to blame though? Nope. No way. Not even when they do meet them.

It's the fact that I am fiercely independent, financially secure, and feminist. Tack that onto my age, my ability to get into PhD programs without even applying, and ability to talk across race, class, and gender. I blame nobody but myself for that. And you know what? If that means I sit home night after night, I'll take that over having dinner with a spoiled princess like McCain who never earned a place at the table or five months who thought Rosemont and a pathetic degree from a nothing school like Syracuse made you fuckable. (Let us remind you that Chuckles has drunk Stags Leap at $95/ bottle expense account with AG, and that was a cheap night.)

She got there like most of the types I knew at Amherst and Columbia: by classical legacy and an unexamined life. That makes her uninteresting to the class of men she is chasing after. Don't get me wrong, men love a good schtup and sequins at the opera. However, when you are 50 you want to be able to have intellectual conversations when the schmecky doesn't work anymore. Most men in the sought after demographics over the age of 30, get that. My sense from a post like that and Facebook is that Ms. McCain isn't capable of doing such now and she isn't like wine or cheese.