It's on.
Oh baby, it's ON!!!
AG has stepped up her taunting; the prospect of being banned is in the offing. Plus, the idea of losing to Snag and Chuckles is tempting, oh so tempting; the half-assedness ensuing will be nigh-intolerable.
Plus, I have discovered: MY WEAPON.
A custom-designed cookie recipe so foul in its unassuming demeanor, yet bearing ingredients which will make the judges bow down before the cookie goodness (or run screaming in fear). A mixture blessed by the Cookie Jesus T-Shirt him/her/itself!
The Cookie Gods are indeed smiling, for win or lose, this is amazing cookie-lore, unearthed from ancient recipes, closely guarded by local radio personalities and defended by indie rock bands. The return to earth has been foretold, and although Official Duties may interfere, half-assedness will not serve!
(Fridge Note to Snag: this recipe calls for mixing with a high-powered food processor; also expressly indicated is that this includes a METAL BLADE!!! One can only imagine what this might be for.)
(psst: here's a hint: the recipe calls for bacon fat!!!! Pork Snorkel Cookies cannot fail!!!!)
(Fridge note to AG: If necessary, I will also make a Snorkel-free version for Dietary Restrictions due to you being a Jewessa and all.)
Umm...what's the deadline again?
Gov. Noem's Dog Sings A Sad Song
37 minutes ago
I must be dreaming...
ReplyDeleteHey, I don't have to worry about any ATF guys showing up at my house, do I? That would be a severe deduction in points and a lifetime of *unbanishment*!
Don't forget to photograph before sending.
Oops, I meant DEA.
ReplyDeleteActually, Both.
ReplyDeletePhotography? Deal-breaker!!
Fine, don't photo the cookies.
ReplyDelete0 points for appearance for BP.
No problem.
AG responded at RoD.
Billy P., will you marry AG?!!
And Zelmo -- make some cookies. Because you cannot get your chicks for free.
0 points for appearance for BP.
ReplyDeleteSTORY OF MY LIFE!!!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeletea lifetime of *unbanishment*
ReplyDeleteI read that as a lifetime of urbanishment. Which I assume was being banished to the suburbs for the rest of your life.
Which I assume was being banished to the suburbs for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteIs that what it is? I'm still trying to figure out what I did to deserve urbanishment...
With a metal blade you don't need to kill it before beating.
ReplyDeleteI read that as a lifetime of urbanishment. Which I assume was being banished to the suburbs for the rest of your life.
ReplyDeleteI would die.
Unless I was able to remodel my house in a way that TOTALLY offends the neighbors, yet is fully within local codes.
Unless I was able to remodel my house in a way that TOTALLY offends the neighbors, yet is fully within local codes.
ReplyDeleteThat is Grizzled's dream... an environmentally responsible abode that also offends the neighbors and is within local codes. Don't forget the windmill.
You should market yourself like that. You'd make a fortune with us suburbanites against our wills.
I am totally your guy. Just ask Zelmo.
ReplyDeleteever see frank Gehry's House?
http://time-blog.com/looking_around/09ouro.L.jpg
The inside is even crazier with exposed wooden studs and wiring, and cardboard furniture...
ReplyDeleteThere are some nice things about suburbia. Lots of friends for my children, I can fire weapons off the deck, my pet moose has lots of room to roam.
ReplyDeleteA cookie Battle Royale?
ReplyDeleteNo contest. I may already be a WINNER.
Zelmo, e-mail AG for the address to send your cookies to!!!
ReplyDeleteFish, stop yapping and start BAKING!!!
Seriously.
How much of a jerk do ya have to be?!
Just do it.
AG knows who consulted with Frank Gehry on his house.
ReplyDeleteRemember: AG dated an Architect.
that doesn't sound that different from urbia, Snag.
ReplyDeleteZelmo may already be a wiener.
ReplyDeleteBP- get your ass down here and Gehry-up my house.
And fish... what AG said!
Zelmo, you can include your cookie products in my packages. I'll clearly mark the authorship.
ReplyDeleteI'll only take credit for the REALLY good ones.
Figgs at Linnemanns Jan 4th. Don't be a weinermobile.
Z-UnIt MuSt BaKe!!!
ReplyDeleteYa Fish. Ya big panzie.
As a friend of mine in advertising once said when pitching a downtown account, "Why do you think they call it sub urban?"
ReplyDeleteBP, the only "good ones" will be MINE. It will be a Smackdown.
ReplyDeleteLet me know when you ship.
Snag lives in his own Snagurbia.
ReplyDeleteBP- You won't be packing your entry in a box that when opened plays Stairway to Heaven, right??? And will your entry be the size of a walnut?
Don't forget pre-shipment photo-ops. That goes for you, too, Zelmo. You may already be a wiener, but we need photos to post so the entire blogosphere can appreciate and envy your wienerhood.
Re: Snagurbia.
ReplyDeleteSee, in my neighborhood, the neighbors would return fire.
Snag's afraid of a little friendly exchange of gunfire.
Nice to see BP putting some metal in his baking.
ReplyDeleteYou will bake
when I say
you must bake!
Back to the dough!
/Metallica
EXIT LIGHT
ReplyDeleteENTER NIGHT
TAKE MY HAND
OFF TO COOKIE COOKIE LAND