Orange Alert

Title courtesy of Sadly No, from the Briefs.


Kudos to the Bush Administration Political Opportunity Team (BAPOT). Being fully aware, from four days prior, that British Police intended to make a raid on terrist wanna-bes yesterday, they sent out the Slime 'n' Smear squad to do the doody:

Rove and Cheney (and THERE'S a stage team to frighten anybody) hit the stenographers in the media to percolate the notion that Ned Lamont's beat down of Holy Joe would signal appeasement and embolden the BAD GUYS.

Of course, the idea of actually taking steps to provide additional security in AMERICA, in case there was a parallel threat, never actually crossed their minds. In fact, I would bet the security folks might have tried to make a warning, but were shushed in the gleeful anticipation of another cynical political ploy in the offing.

But the BAPOT team got right the fuck out in front of that, pimping the notion that a British sting operation somehow is related to a Democratic primary, and thus proves that the Democratic Party sucks donkey dicks, and only Republicans can keep you safe and warm under your bed, peeing in your footie pajamas. Or something like that, it's not easy logic.

I think it's also worthwhile to point out for the more totalitarian minded out there that in Britain, terrorist plots are foiled through police work, without military intervention, martial law, illegal wiretapping, torture or cessation of civil liberties. It's interesting, is all I'm saying. Maybe someone in Homeland Security or the TSA can give them a call to, you know, ask how it's done; because obviously it's beyond the people currently in charge of America's security.



In the spirit of bipartisanship that the Republicans have displayed over the past few weeks, solicitously warning the Democrats of the self defeat looming if we start electing the people we want, rather than the people THEY want; I'd like to offer some helpful advice to Bush, Rove, and Mehlman (I wouldn't presume to offer advice to Cheney, he'd just shoot me in the face):

1. Send Bush on vacations MORE often. Make sure there are plenty of puff pieces about the Resident cutting brush, falling off bikes and steps, and generally goofing around for the entire month: Americans, most of whom only get two weeks or less of vacation a year, just LOVE to live vicariously through an elitist privileged spoiled politician's son who has never worked a day in his life and has been unsuccessful at everything he's ever done.

2. Keep ignoring the ports, and any serious work in preventing terrorist attacks. Protecting INdiana is, of course JOB ONE. (Wisconsin is, oddly enough, Job Two). It's impossible for THAT to create any problems.

3. More Karl Rove. America Loves him. Make sure he flaunts his role in the destruction of CIA assets.

4. Lots of Dick Cheney screen time. especially get photos of him drinking blood to keep alive. Americans thrill to the sights and sounds of a bloated, government-fed plutocratic leech who can't quit his profiteering long enough to serve as VP. His constant warmongering to benefit his pals and partners at Halliburton is especially delightful.

5. More Tax Cuts for Paris Hilton!

6. Bring back The Draft. Look how popular the draft is for the NBA and the NFL.

7. Keep trying to destroy Social Security. I know, a huge plurality of Americans don't want it touched, but they're all jsut bleeding hearts who hate the idea of old people starving or freezing to death. I'm sure that if you explain that it would be just like the 1800's, nostalgia for a better time would set in. Also, use graphs to explain how that money needs to be used for #5 above.

8. and, almost needless to mention: Stay The Course! Because allowing children, brothers, husbands and wives to continually, needlessly die in a quixotic useless war is pure election GOLD!

I know, I've certainly given the impression that I have a certain dislike for Republican politicians and Rightwing authoritarian psychopaths, like the ones running this country, but after the heartwarming concern shown for Democrats, I felt that we could all just come together in same spirit of camaraderie.