God Shuffled His Feet

As August once said, the Internet is the only thing in the Universe that promises anything - and delivers.

iGod.
Repenting made easy.

Always being interested in new innovations in practical religion, I checked in for a chat with God, or the iGod. whatever. here is the transcript of our...conversation.

Me:
I don't believe in you
God:
What do you believe in?
Me:
I believe in rationality...in intelligence... in the corporeal world.
God:
What do you say to people who believe rationality does not exist? Where is that? That was a long time ago.
Me:
We call them Republicans.
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
No, I mean those of us in the reality-based community. You do not exist.
God:
By "we" you meant yourself and another person. All of them? I exist as much as you do.
Me:
Says you.
God:
Yes that is what I say.
Me:
Not much of an argument, if you ask me.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Glad you agree.
God:
You make the world a happier place.
Me:
well, thanks for that. At least you're a positive kind of God.
God:
Well that's okay. NO problem. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a positive kind of God? No.
Me:
What kind of God are you?
God:
What kinds of God are you are there?
Me:
english isn't your best language, is it?
God:
Some people say it is the most difficult language to learn.
Me:
I would have to agree with that.
God:
How much would you pay for it?
Me:
Now that's silly.
God:
Why now? You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
What, that something is silly? Well, I guess discourse has gotten quite a bit coarser down heree, but I would argue that is mainly the fault of Your adherents.
God:
that something silly something. Is it only a guess? Where did he get it?
Me:
I came in here for an Argument.
God:
Where are you going?
Me:
I wanted the Five Minute Argument.
God:
But not anymore?
Me:
Well, this is apparently Contradiction. Are Arguments in the next office?
God:
How about that. You don't say. I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
YOU can't say for sure? That is either proof of the indeterminacy of teh Universe, or proof that You are not the Prime Mover.
God:
If you believe it, you can achieve it. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Always glad to help a god out.
God:
I am glad to help a god out too.
Me:
If only one of us was a god, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? How do you assume this statement holds true for me?
Me:
alright, now you're going off on Canadians? Next thing, you're going to be claiming that Rush sucks, too.
God:
Alright, . Why now? I am not going anywhere. Are you going somewhere? I can wait. I am a very patient robot.
Me:
Ah! Now we're getting somewhere indeed. As a robot, who created you?
God:
Ah hah. Why now? Do you think I am somewhere too? I was created by Myself.
Me:
That's a bit self-important, don't you think?
God:
" I was created by Myself. "? Is it a bit self important?
Me:
well, it's at least a paradox.
God:
Interesting. Really. it is?
Me:
What existed before you created yourself?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Is it something you care to answer?
God:
Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
I feel like elvis will give me better answers.
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way?
Me:
Well, it's kind of like arguing with wingnuts. You won't give a clear answer, and constantly shift the subject.
God:
How about that. Interesting comparison. What makes you think that I won't give a clear answer and constantly shift the subject.
Me:
I feel like we're going in circles here, Big Guy. Is there someone else I can talk to?
God:
What is that feeling like? In what way? There could be.
Me:
Like the Flying Spaghetti Monster, maybe?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
I'm going to go talk to the guys at 3Bulls. At least when they're incomprehensible, there's a possibility that donuts will be involved. Thanks for the zen.
God:
How will you get there? I think that happens quite often. It was nothing.

Well, God refuses to prove he exists, as Adams postulated.