Poison Years

According to the inestimable Bill at Cheers and Jeers, this Sunday marks four years that we've been living under the Color Coded Terror Alert System, the only noticeable affect of the Homeland Security apparatus, other than the constant breathing I hear on my phones.

He also points out that at no time have we been at green or blue status. So that's four years of trying to crank up the fears of a jumpy country. Is it any wonder that the Dubai Ports deal was met with a bit of...resistance?

But the Terror Alert System is notable among the Bush Administration Initiatives, in that it is one of the very few things they've done that hasn't actually made things worse.

So, hey, let's drink a toast to..., well to the absence of criminal negligence! woo hoo!

Just wait though. The DEpt of Homeland Security has started a program for faith-based security initiatives. So apparently they've given up actually looking for terrorists in favor of closing their eyes and praying. I'm feeling safe and secure, boy howdy, yes I am.



Anyways, in tribute, we're going to rate our Friday Random based on the song's Terror Level!



1. Jerusalem from the album “Americana Gothic” by The Letterpress Opry Eeeek! Its about the Mideast, so that brings the rating up. But the music is wholesome Americana, banjo, violin, and harmonies, so it's not in your face. I give it... YELLOW.

2. Powderfinger from the album “Weld 2” by Neil Young He's a Canadian. It's a song about killing. And it has the full throttle backing of Crazy Horse, so it's loud. Pretty Scary. It's a YELLOW.

3. Maps And Legends from the album “Fables Of The Reconstruction” by R.E.M. Gahh, who knows what an REM song is about? But these guys are LIBRULS, and Michael Stipe has teh GAY, so it's scary by itself. By the way, Michael, don't have a heart attack in West Virginia. Color: YELLOW

4. Neglekted from the album “1965” by The Afghan Whigs Scary music, and a freaky singer. So it's too scary for Clear Channel, certainly. I'd give it a blue, but that misspelling up there gives it a vaguely Russky look, so we better be safe ---YELLOW.

5. South Bound Saurez from the album “In Through The Out Door” by Led Zeppelin. Jimmy Page worships the Devil. ORANGE!!!

6. Do You Want To Go Somewhere? from the album “For A Decade Of Sin: 11 Years Of Bloodshot Records” by Richard Buckner Richard Buckner is British. And Bloodshot Records is a small label, not affiliated with Patriotically Approved Mega Corporation Record Labels, Definitely anti-american. YELLOW

7. Side Of The Road from the album “Sea Change” by Beck I don't understand this one, so just to be safe I'm gonna go.... ORANGE!

8. Echo Beach from the album “Then Again: A Retrospective” by Martha And The Muffins Another Canadian. Ewww. This song highlights some of the best eighties synth-wave around. As ymbol of a place you'd want to be other than where you are. Thus, by definition, un-american since we all know there is no better place ,ever! YELLOW.

9. Look At You Over There, Ripping The Sawdust From My Teddybear (Demo) from the album “The Life And Crimes Of Alice Cooper (Disc 3)” by Alice Cooper We've talked about this before. Alice Cooper destroyed Western Civilization in the 70s, and is now reaping his rewards. This has it all: Scary Title, scary lyrics, and is just generally anti-social. YELLOW YELLOW YELLOW.

10. All Along The Watchtower from the album “Transistor Blast - The Best Of The BBC Sessions (1978/79 Live In Concert Recordings)” by XTC More british new wavers, doing a cover from that black guy that desecrated the National Anthem, who was covering That Damn Hippie Bob Dylan. YELLOW!


So there. You can see how over a representative set of data, you can obtain a similar result to the Colorrific Security Alert Playset. I guess I won't be criticizing it anymore.



And a few bonus randoms, throwing some good vibes out Ann Richards way (get well fast, Ma'am!)

11. Private Archipelago from the album “Light Music For Dying People” by Sordid Humor

12. Here Comes A Regular (Live) from the album “Inconcerated Live” by The Replacements This was recorded at a later show at the UWM Student Center. If you listen very carefully, you can absolutely hear me in the crowd.

13. Drilling Holes from the album “Marbles (Disc 2)” by Marillion

14. Robbery, Assault And Battery from the album “Seconds Out (Disc 1)” by Genesis Ooops, one for GWB.

15. Winning Side from the album “Boingo Alive (Disc 2)” by Oingo Boingo