How Many More Times Do We Have To Do This?

It's getting old and tiresome. There is a bevy of legislation across the United States, and North America for that matter, that is absurd. From Megan's Law to the so called partial birth bans, I get incensed. This is my latest. Much like Megan's Law, it does not address the real issue.

According a survey by the National Highway and Safety Administration, 11% of drivers on the road on the weekends are under the influence of an illegal drug. That number climbs to 16% at night. Florida, Delaware and Pennsylvania observed no change in fatal DUI crashes in 2009, while seven states actually saw increases: New Hampshire, Kansas, Wyoming, Rhode Island, Idaho, Oklahoma and Colorado. Overall, drunk driving fatalities declined by 7% nationwide. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood reported that the largest declines were in states that sought and prosecuted Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol (DUI) most aggressively, with checkpoints and stepped-up patrols.

DUI does not happen on it's own though. The reason for alcohol consumption vary deep and wide. However, there is one pivotal reason that is often over looked. The Mental Health Foundation in the UK suggests that at the more severe end of the spectrum, the co-existence of alcohol problems and mental ill-health is
very common, and often referred to as “dual diagnosis”.

The idea that people ‘self-medicate’ their mental health problems using alcohol is also very well known and documented. The basic premise is that the psychopharmacological properties of alcohol help individuals deal with negative effects of mental ill-health by altering the chemistry of the brain, which in turn counters the negative feelings. The prevalence of alcohol dependence among people with psychiatric disorders is almost twice as high as in the general population. People with severe and enduring mental illnesses such as schizophrenia, are at least three times as likely to be alcohol dependant as the general population.

A 1999 from the University of Pennsylvania reported alcoholism and depression are two of the most common and disabling mental illnesses in late life. The study sampled 49 adults who had recently been convicted of DUI. A lifetime history of alcohol abuse or dependence was present in 48 subjects (98%), while a depressive disorder occurred in 24 (49%) of the subjects.

I am arguing that requiring someone to serve a 25 year jail term is useless without the treatment of the underlying mental illness that often leads one to consume alcohol and get behind the wheel. It will not resolve the underlying issue for many repeat offenders. Not to mention that this law reaches at the argument that so many anti-abortion activists work towards -- upholding children above adult health and freedom over one's own destiny. Such actions miss the target they are shooting towards.

As mentioned, this is not to say that all DUIs are the result of mental illness. My comments also do not address all reasons that DUIs occur and the the public health and safety work that is still needed. However, ignoring the aspects of mental health in favor of retribution seems absurd when living with depression is punishment on its own merits.

Shouldn't Have Given Him A Gun For Christmas

The last gasp of a zombie at the End of The Year.

Here's a sampling sampler of my Holidays playlist. All the Christmas (yeah, I said CHRISTMAS, Bill O'Reilly, you don't own the term, and zombies can celebrate Christmas too) songs on my hard drive; I am telling you it is 215 songs, nearly twelve hours. And as my final gift-infliction on your, here is a list, and my inane commentary on each as I see fit.


1. Home for The Holidays, the dbs. One of the great lost bands of the 80's. Unbelievable cross of power pop and alt-country by Peter Holsapple and Chris Stamey (who wrote one of my favorite songs of all time, "I Am The Cosmos") Great song that combines the feeling of coming home to your family, with the yearning of trying to get there.

[ooops, turns out I screwed that one up. Chris BELL, of Big Star, wrote "I Am The Cosmos". Still one of my favorites.]

2. Merry Christmas (I don't want to fight tonight), The Smithereens. Powerpop legends covering a Ramones song. See where I am going with this? I love the original, and this is, while maybe missing Joey's bronx drawl, benefiting from some well-placed bells.

3. Skyline Jig, The Chieftains. From the Bells of Dublin, one of the best holiday albums of ALL TIME. No debate on this will be tolerated.

4. I Have A Little Dreidel, Barenaked Ladies. Canuck Jewish Holiday rambunctiousness. What's not to like?

5. Little Drummer Boy, Miracle Legion. I saw these guys open for Alex Chilton once. They impressed me so much, I had to go and see them headline the following night. It was at a club that closed down shortly after they hosted GG Allin. not a heartwarming story, perhaps, but as Another Kiwi said at Riddled:

You can feel the feelings
And accept some comfort.

And that is what I love about people who play music for a living.

6.Sleigh Ride, Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors. Horny Holidays is probably the second most played holiday album at the Home of Zombeez. It sound like you miked a drunken holiday singalong, which was taken over by your obnoxious zombie friend who sang louder than everybody else, and made up for forgotten lyrics as well as singing in tune, with enthusiasm and drunken improvising.

• 6A. Run Run Rudoplph, Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors. See Above. By the liner notes, this was recorded in Lake Geneva, and between beer and whisky, lubricated by Jagermeister. And weed. and sounds it.
• It sounds like a holiday party, and is there something wrong with that?

7. Good King Wenceslas, Mary McCaslin. From a Rounder records sampler.

When I was a small, pre-zombie, my family would always look forward to the Christmas eve service at our liberal little church. It was light on preaching, and the high point was when they would turn the lights off in the church, and we all would sing carols like this while holding candles.

It was beautiful; there is nothing like a cathedral illuminated solely by candles held by the audience, while filled with communal song. It had little to do with organized religion, and everything to do with spirituality and community.

8. One Little Christmas Tree, Sister Hazel. New stuff this year, although cool people like Von have known about it for some time.

9. Silent Night, Molly Johnson & Norman Orenstein. Modern, guitar and bluesy voiced version that leaves the classic intent intact.

10. O, Holy Night, Divine Weeks. See above, #9 and #7; recycle those comments. The best songs are able to be re-imagined without losing the things that make them great.

11. Christmas At The Triple X Ranch, Riders In The Sky. Another from the Rounder records album, this is one of the best country christmas songs out there, it's like the western American version of teh Chieftains album. I canNOT resist it, especially the "Me-RRY christmas, buckaroos and buckarettes" at the end.

12. Peace On Earth/Little Drummer Boy; Bing and David. One of the most improbable, and most successful, cross-pollination duets ever, and I will not allow disagreement on this either. Made all the more wonderful because it was done live, not through digital combination, and that Bowie wore a matching sweater.

When I listen, it makes me feel like there is hope for collaboration and meeting of generations through common language like music, love, art.

And then I wake up and see people like John Boehner and John McCain and Joe Lieberman running our world, and I realize that the seventies were long ago.

13. River - Roberty Downey Jr. Yes, he does a straight up version of the Joni Mitchell song. It works, and regardless of the Brat Pack/folkie baggage, I will tell you it works and that is all I need from a song.

14. Bring A Torch, Jeanette Isabella, Carnival Art. LA punk/art rock re imagining of a traditional song, and O do I love it. Everytime I hear this song in some traditional environment, now, I hear this guitar-based thrashy version. I especially love the sloppy, half-beat delayed drumming during the vocal breaks. AND they finish with the vox from the Whoville song in The Grinch. Brilliantly, sloppily, punkily festive.

15. Thanks For Christmas, Blue Girl and Neddie Jingo. One of my favorite holiday songs, done by some of my favorite imaginary digital friends. I can't convey how great it is to hear the songs by these folks come up, and think "Hey, I kinda know these guys!"

But beyond that, Andy Partridge has written many perfect pop songs, and in this case, he wrote a perfect pop Christmas song. Festive, and heartwarming, and sweet without being cloying or annoying. BG and NJ have perfectly captured the soul of this song, using basic studio equipment and the internet. They captured the heart of the song, and I would like to imagine that Andy Partridge has somehow come across the version, and I believe he smiles when he hears it....

Thanks to Blue Girl and Neddie Jingo for their gifts of music, and thanks to all of you for commenting, and I may or may not be back during the second decade of this century.


....o, and one for KWB; "Christmas Time IS Here" (by Glue Birl and Jeddie Ningo) came up just as I was finishing this post. Once again:

You can feel the feelings
And accept some comfort.

Merry Christmas, friends.

POSTSCRIPT

Christmas Is Coming, the Payolas. A lovely yearning song by punks. It belies the opinion that punk music had no musicality or ability. The Payolas delivered, in three chords and three verses, a visceral sing-along holiday song that includes desolation, hope, desire, and hope. ANOTHER of my favorites. 3 Minutes is more than enough to make for a purely perfect power pop song.

I am gong to spend the rest of the holiday season listening to all of these songs.

Corporate Cobags

As AG's life continues to kindle, it turns out that the best thing I did was take my current position. The organization just announced a partnership with the molecule package that I oversee corporate responsibility for. This results in a 138% bonus this year. For all you non profit individuals, I'll be thinking of you while I am laying on the beach in Roratonga.

Santa loves the Jews this year... more...

When Posters Become Art

On rare occasion, I read something that I think could have been taken directly from my personal diary. This is just one of those moments.

Letting Go

I am leaving for the holiday break in approximately a week. Before I leave, it's likely I will be digging into my pocket and purchasing a new automobile. This is not particularly interesting I suppose except that I've had my car for more than 15 years. We have traveled a lot of road during our nearly two decades together.

I've talked about getting a new car for about the last three years. And each time I would go and look, but never purchase. I was too emotionally invested to let my girl go. That was until I was put through a 'car intervention' by my friend who told me that he would not allow me to drive her past her birthday on 31 December for my safety and possibly the environment and all families within the tri-state region. (I think he over states things, but whatever!) In return, he has scored me a discount of 33% off the already discounted price and $1.5K as a trade-in on top of that. It seems hard to turn this offer up.

I will miss Camille, as she is named. We've been through a lot from boyfriends, to u-grads, grad schools, purchasing the first houses, and the loss of Bubie and Zaidie. We moved from PA to Boston to New York and back to PA, to name but a few, in our 15 plus years together. It seems appropriate that she be both adopted and put to sleep in the same state. She can go to car heaven and be with her fellow litter mates.

While there can be no replacement of my Camille, she will be followed by another 4x4. The new car will have leather seats, a sun roof, and be a status symbol. I tell myself this is OK because it's not a German built Nazi mobile, at least. Though, the Audi A6 wagon was tempting. For as much as I think people who drive status symbol cars are cobags, I am being promoted at work in 2010 and I need to finally put on my big girl pants. It's time to play the part of the golden hand cuffed corporate jerk that I've morphed into. It will not change that I am getting a deal on her and I still do not believe cars define me. However, the VP of Medical Affairs will no longer go to lunch with me and watch me roll down my window to let myself out. It's time.

So, tomorrow I am saying goodbye to Camille. I am going for a drive in 'Mushroom Country'. No, not that kind of shrooms, ya stoners! We'll drive through horse country and stop off for ice cream. We'll drive fast and slow on the highway, remember driving together during the blizzard of 1995, driving down Kelly Drive after Bubie passed away in tears, the birth of my children and bringing them home in her, and remember all that we went through to obtain her birth certificate from the State of Massachusetts; even though they never had any damn right to have it! Camille is a cherished friend and she will be missed. She'll always have a special place in my heart and for that, I am most grateful.

Goodbye, old friend!

P.S. I spent my weekend in a blue Alfa Romeo and no, AG is not at liberty to speak about this. Just know this, "If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?"

"Neither would I."

The 12 Crazies of Christmas

For a long time I've complained about the mixture of science and religion in the US. We've all heard the 'separation of Church and state' monologue too many times to remember. Yet, some groups fail to get it.

First, please allow me to state for the record that bioethics is far more willing than I am to accommodate religious views. However, they do it in a way that I am agreeable to. Bioethics generally looks at the public's belief about these issues. For example, more than 60% of Americans support abortion in some form. The majority of those, Catholics. Therefore, it's not what Bishops or the Pope says that matters to bioethists, it's what is actually believed and practiced by the people.

So, when the Vatican issued their recent rant against many bioethic concerns in medicine, I was overly joyed to read it with a glass of Spanish sherry. In a document known as Dignitas Personae, the big V is seeking to tell us what is permissible in my office, bench labs, your bedroom and home, at the pharmacy counter, and pharmaceutical companies. Yes, you read that right. It no longer matters that I have been to medical school or that women seek to control the fact that without birth control and the increase in secondary education amongst women in many developed nations, the average would like bear 12-15 children over the course of their lifetimes.

Digitas bans the morning-after pill, the IUD and RU486 by stating that they result in what amounts to abortion. This is overly ambitious because abortion needs to be better defined because IUDs are not scientifically an abortion by the same means that Plan B is not either.

My sense is that this document is in part a response to Senator Barbara Boxer's (D-CA)proposed legislation in 2007 known as the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA). President-elect Obama has stated he will sign the document. This has powerful consequences for everyone, especially Catholic hospitals across America who are loathe to provide abortion and other reproductive services to patients. Catholic hospitals account for about 1/3rd of hospitals in the US and are mainly located in areas of the country where private and other not-for-profit hospitals have no desire to be located. This includes small inner cities like Holyoke, MA and rural America like Port Jervis, New York. If FOCA is passed and the Catholic hospitals are brought to their knees, they have warned of a boycott and a strike to the public health system.

It is too soon to tell whether FOCA will pass. Despite the efforts of Senator Boxer and the overwhelming support of the Democrats in the Senate, many believe the legislation will not pass. I do not happen to be one of them, but then again, I fall into the fringe side of pro abortion ethicist-in-training (My new eponymous title as Dr. Dr. AG-to-be.)who argue the point of abortion to argue the point of abortion. more...

OK Sure

It reduces pain in patients living with cancer, but what does it do for their obesity rates?

Happy Chanukah

Tonight is not only shabbat, but it marks the start of Chanukah 2009.

AG went out with the Jews last night for vodkas and latkes. AG was behaved and did not refer to anyone's S.O. as a 'shiksa' this year or over indulge in libations. Baby steps.

Tonight AG will be celebrating deep in the heart of the forests of the Keystone State. AG is supplying the menorah and candles while others are on brisket, sufganyiot, and latke duty. And Manischewitz. (Dear Hanukkah Harry, please gift non kosher AG beschert beverages this year!) Now, if AG can work on getting others to think it's like New Years during candle lighting, it truly will be a miracle. AG has talents. Anything is possible according to the bathroom stall wall. The fact that someone is allowing the religion inside tonight is a miracle. Baby steps.

Happy Chanukah to our Jewish readers and Happy-We-Do-Not-Want-You and You are not part of the Chosen People to the rest of you. AG will give all of you this as your gift.

Chanukah Caturday

Last night was the kitty's first Chanukah. Here she is celebrating: more...

Sharing the Wealth

What angers me is that we as a society believe that the surface is an easier scratching post . The reason these individuals cheated is more interesting than with who or how often. Media and many within society have yet again missed the point with regards to the recent news about Tiger Woods.

Men cheating on women (and vice versa for that matter) is not about how many times or with whom. It is about what leads to the desire and behavior vis a vis denial of monogamy. Too often partners (especially women) blame themselves for their partners, lovers, spouses infidelity. And yet for the majority of them, there is little connection between their actions and the extra curricular affairs of others.

A researcher at the University of Montreal (I know, but the researcher is French and probably wants Montreal to detach.) conducted a series of studies on cheating. The first in the series was conducted on 145 students with an average age of 23. Some 68 percent had thought about cheating and 41 percent had actually cheated. Sexual satisfaction aside, the results indicated a strong correlation between infidelity and people with an avoidant attachment style.

The second study was conducted on 270 adults with an average age of 27. About 54 percent had thought about cheating and 39 percent had actually cheated. But the correlation is the same: people with an avoidance attachment style are more likely to cheat.

"Infidelity could be a regulatory emotional strategy used by people with an avoidant attachment style. The act of cheating helps them avoid commitment phobia, distances them from their partner, and helps them keep their space and freedom."

Both these studies were followed up by two other studies that asked about the motives for infidelity. The will to distance themselves from commitment and their partner was the number one reason cited.

These studies revealed no differences between men and women. Just as many men and women had an avoidance attachment style and the correlation with infidelity is just as strong on both sides. Contrary to popular belief, infidelity isn't more prevalent in men than women according to the studies.

Given these findings, it does not seem worthy to compare public figures who have engaged in infidelity. Someone should inform media outlets about these studies. Maybe they could then actually report real news with actual facts and pose important questions.

Without A Trace

It is fortunate AG is back. although she will probably not post Muppet Epics.

I foresee a blogging hiatus on the part of the Zombie (I know, I know; how will you tell?). Oddly enough, it comes when to all appearances, I would have plenty of time for blogging. It just seems more-or-less pointless, somehow, so I leave you in the capable, delicate and talented hands of AG. Until some future time, I also leave you with Colin Hay:

I wish I was still drinkin
whiskey wine and beer
the sound of glasses clinkin
so sweet to my ear

I wouldn't have to listen to the time that's runnin out
I'd use it much more wisely...
I'd drink and fall about.

I wish I was still drinkin
then I'd have no fear
tell you how to fix the world
then have another beer
I wouldn't have to feel the pain that's in a mother's eyes
I'd drink till I believe the sound
of my own drunken lies

Wish I was still drinkin
when nothin was too clear
like the TV evangelist
fuelin people's fear
taking all their hard earned cash in the name of the Holy One
their days are surely numbered
their day will surely come

I wish I was still drinkin
I was a lot more fun
Life of the endless party
friends with everyone
I wouldn't have to answer
for the promises I broke
Like the President those days
when he drank and snorted coke

Wish I was still drinkin
then I wouldn't have to hear
sound of rapid gunfire
exploding in my ear
I'd drink through the nightmares
of friends crying out for help
I would drink through everything
I've seen or heard or felt

Wish I was still drinking
O I really really do
I gather all my fair weather friends like him and her and you

I'd count all their missing teeth
that can no longer chew
I'd even drive my old white car
cuz she like drinkin too.

yeah I wish I was still drinkin
whiskey wine and beer
the sound of glasses clinkin
so sweet to my ear
I wouldn't have to listen
to the time that's runnin out
I'd use it much more wisely
I'd drink and fall about

Stump a Blogger

AG went out last night. OK, AG pretty much goes out EVERY night anymore so that was redundant. AG hearts December where the goyim are like AG -- drunk and Merry, Sue, or Steve. The best comment to leave AG's mouth last night:

"Oy. I judge you for the six oh nine?"

What did AG mean by that as she pressed the wine glass to her lips? AG wonders if anyone here might know. I mean, some of you might get close, but is there anyone out there to expose AG for what she is?! more...

The Return of AG

I don't want to talk about it. So, here you go:

1.The phone rings. Who do you want it to be?
Anything but someone asking me for money.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart?
Mostly, yes. I generally use the Dorothy baskets because I live alone and it restricts my purchases.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener?
Talker.
4. Do you take compliments well?
Get off my lawn!
5. Are you an active person?
What are we talking about here?
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, do you survive?
I’d go home with Gilligan and the film crew at the end of the day.
7. Do you like to ride horses?
Do I have to put a quarter in first?

8. Did you ever go to camp as a kid?
Camp was for kids whose parents did not love them in my mother’s mind.
9. What was your favorite game as a kid?
Mental head games with adults.
10. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was married would you?
It’s not my shtick to go for married people.
11. Are you judgemental?
I judge you for asking me that.
12. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you?
Years ago I did and it was easier. Now, I do not and it’s much harder, but better this way.
13. Do you like to pursue or be pursued?
I prefer to be pursued. However, I’ve more recently learned that you can put your hazards on and see what happens.
14. Use three words to describe yourself:
Fan Fucking Tastic.

15. If you had to choose, would you rather be deaf or blind?
I would choose neither. Next, question.
16. Are you continuing your education?
Aren’t we all in some way?
17. Do you know how to shoot a gun?
What kind and for what purpose?
18. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you tried to save?
My life and Tamora’s.
19. How often do you read books?
Are you the library police? Look, I am not paying you that 20.00 for being late by five days.
20. Do you think more about the past, present or future?
Certainly not the past while I am slouching more towards present and less on the future.
21. What is your favorite children's book?
One that has porn in it.
22. Have you kissed any of your Blog friends?
Um, that’s not something I care to discuss here.
23. How tall are you?
About this high and able to ride all the good rides.
24. Where is your ideal house located?
Not near yours.
25. Boxers, briefs, thongs, panties, or grannies?
On who and for how long?
26. Last person you talked to?
The wine store clerk, if Tamora does not count.
27. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth?
Sure
28. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden?
Never because my taste buds would revolt.
29. What are your keys on your key chain for?
Poking the jerk who made this meme in the eye.
30. Where was the furthest place you traveled today?
Liquor Land and let me tell you – it was worth it.
31. Where is your current pain at?
At? Could we discuss grammar here? I refuse to answer this question until the question is corrected.
32. Do you like mustard?
On what and brand, please?
33. Do you prefer to sleep or eat?
Sleep
34. Do you look like your mom or dad?
I look like your mom. I don't really know what that means, but...
35. How long does it take you in the shower?
Long enough.
36. Can you do a split?
Yeah, some bananas, a little iced cream - delicious.
37. What movie do you want to see right now?
Something independent and interesting.
38. Do you put lotion on your dog or cats?
This is the most fucked up question I have read today and I’ve seen a lot of fucked up stuff today.
39. What did you do for New Year's?
Oy. We can all pretty much guess what I did.
40. Do you think "The Grudge" was scary?
I don't know.
41. What was the cause of your last accident?
I moved to Pennsyltucky in 2007. Mea culpa.
42. How much money do you have on you right now?
How much are you leaving on the night table?
43. What are you drinking?
Wine
44. Was your mom a cheerleader?
Your mom was the cheerleader I made out with.
45. What's the last letter of your middle name?
What is the purpose of this question? Oh, and I answered the question in that question.
46. Who did you vote for on American Idol?
Are you kidding me?
47. How many hours of sleep do you get a night?
Not nearly enough.
48. Do you like Carebears?
Yeah, they are great for target practice and watching my cat destroy.
49. What do you buy at the movies?
A ticket?
50. Do you know how to play poker?
Yes and I know how to take your money too.
51. Do you wear your seat belt?
I should hope so.
52. What do you wear to sleep?
Clothes.
53. Anything big ever happen in your hometown?
I'm from the suburbs of New York. Do I need to say more?
54. How many meals do you eat a day?
Mine or others?
55. Is your tongue pierced?
Yes - wait, no.
56. Do you trust the news reported by the local paper?
Let’s not fire that one up today, shall we?
57. What's you favorite NFL team?
Rocky Top, uh, the Harlem Globetrotters
58. Do you like funny or serious people better?
For fucks sake.
59. Ever been to Vegas?
What happens there stays there.
60. Did you eat a cookie today?
No
61. Do you use cuss words in other languages?
I told someone to fuck off on Friday night in Italian and called another a species of assholes in French. So, no.
62. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads?
Yes
63. Do you hate chocolate?
With almost as much passion as I hate stupid questions.
64. What do you and your parents fight about the most?
I only fight with other peoples' parents.
65. Is anyone mad at or irritated with you right now?
Oh, I hope so.
66. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?
Santa can blow me.
67. What's your favorite preparation for eggs?
Cooked.
68. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be?
Queen of the Universe, oh wait…
69. Are you easy to get along with?
Fuck you!
70. What is your favorite time of day?
Any time that I am doing what I want to do.
71. Who was your best girlfriend/boyfriend?
It would be easier to list who was the worst.
72. Who do you hate?
I don’t hate. I just order deaths.
73. Would ever date your first love again?
No
74. Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
Yes
75. Current mood?
Furry

Wayne's World can bite me.

...as can Paul Rodgers:





HAHAHAHAHAHAHEEHEEEHEEEHEEE HO HO HOOOOOOOooooo.....

Return to Paradise.

Hey, at least it's not 38 Special: