This website is awesome despite what Confuscious says.
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Sunday, November 30, 2008
Monday, November 24, 2008
Best comments evah left in a Facebook Mailbox:
DEC: What is with X.XXXX (Not AG's real or blog name)…..nom de plume or hiding out from the authorities?
AG: Well, I might have made out with a McCain staffer a few weeks ago. And when I say maybe and McCain -- well, you know.
DEC: So he was WASPy, someone we all know, and graduated Brown and Yale didn't he? Was he hung too because your mouth has been quiet.
AG: Feck. Is nothing sacred with you peeps? How do my benign escpades travel that quickly?
DEC: Um, you might want to stop You Tubing everything and pasting pictures of your black and blue marks on certain MySpace pages.
AG: That MySpace comment is a damn lie. It was a bona fide blog spot page.
DEC: So it is true then you discussed economic theories while he was...
AG: It's the economy stoopid. Clearly.
AG is outtie this week and headed home. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and to all a good night!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Running in Circles
Today is the 15th running of the Philadelphia marathon.
I won't be there running it this year. Instead, I plan to run it next year and run the Rothman half marathon early next year. However, I will be there cheering on someone. Someone who I hope to run next to in the 2009 marathon. I think I am the only girl who can keep pace with him. I am guessing it's the practice we endured as children growing up in the shadows of the Empire State Building and Grand Central during rush hour. Not to mention that the others were no comparison given they are Asian shiksas shopping in my tribal department.
My biggest fear in running the marathon is hyponatremia. I get chest pains just worrying about it, as I am scared to drop to the ground mid-way thru. Hyponatremia occurs in a substantial fraction of nonelite marathon runners and can be dangerous. Considerable weight gain while running, a long racing time, and body-mass-index extremes are associated with hyponatremia. I am at risk due to medical concerns earlier this year in addition to my genetics and being prone to certain runner's issues. My physician has cleared me to run next year, but she is not letting up on watching me like a hawk and seeing me every 8 weeks until the oncologist is willing to stop watching his med-mal insurance and set me free into the general public. I am hopeful I get cleared soon so that I can do more training than the five miles I am running three to four times a week.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Hard To Be Human
Ask a Grammar Zombie
Yes, it's a new feature on the Empire, in response to the nearly THREE emails asking for new content, especially if I could do it through annoying pointless nitpicking. Since I am a can-do zombie, I pulled my leg back on and put in my good eye, scraped the scum of my remaining cheek and pulled together this piece of half-digested tripe. Enjoy!!
Our first question is from Cluverline Wilder, who departed this life unexpectedly :
dear Grammar Zombie.....
Our next question comes from recently living Mr. Deirdre Strategic of Beetown, received by carrier gopher:
Is the word "media" plural or singular?DEPENDS ON HOW MANY BRAINZ YOU ARE EATING. FOR INSTANCE, SEAN HANNITY BARELY HAS ONE BRAINZ AND WOULD NOT EVEN MAKE FOR SINGULAR APPETIZER. FOX AND FRIENDS ARE PLURAL MEDIA BUT THEIR BRAINZ TASTE AWFUL. MEET THE PRESS MEETS HUNGRY ZOMBIE ATTACK!!! BRAINZZZ!!!
The intertubes deliver a great question from Great-Aunt Deduct Lapnooke:
What is UP with affect and effect? How do I know which to use?ONCE I EAT YOUR BRAINZZZ, IT WILL AFFECT YOUR ABILITY TO WALK AND TALK. IN EFFECT, YOU WILL BECOME A ZOMBIE. ARE WE CLEAR NOW? SEND MORE GREAT-AUNTS!!!
Next up is a query from the departed Ethelcee Fishnolvohclel:
When do I CAPITALIZE people's job titles?NOT IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE, YOU BRAIN-EATED LOSER. SHEESH. SOMETIMES YOU DON'T EVEN NEED TO EAT THE BRAINZZZ.
Here is an urgent holiday question from former Staff Sergeant Barbecue Cookie Queen:
When I'm writing and I put "The Skimmer and I" towards the end of a sentence, I know that is wrong. But, something inside makes me want to do it anyway. Damn the rules of the English language! So, should it be "me and the skimmer"? Or "the skimmer and me"?SKIMMER AND YOU EAT BRAINZZZ!! YOU AND SKIMMER!!! BRAINZZZ!!!
From the newly deceased First Lieutenant Telephoning Madhouse:
When do I use "Fred and I" and when do I use "Fred and me"?FRED AND I GOT OUR BRAINZZ EATED!!! ZOMBEEZ EATED FRED AND ME!!! AIEEE!!!!
Finally, we got a phone call from soon-to-be-dead Pope Jessica:
I need help with who and whom!Contact Snag for quick disposal of whomever's bodies. WHO YOU ATE BRAINZ OF!!!
ASK A GRAMMAR ZOMBIE will be an irregular and occasional feature. Empire Of The Senseless, always a useful source for useless advice, insufferable musical pedantry and angry tirades.
Of course, mad zombee props to Righteous Bubba Zombie and his Name Generator. The Cuc was completely Unanticipated. Smart guy like that, probably has really tasty brainz.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The List
AG's Top 10 hates this week:
1. The couple who stole my laptop
2. US Airways
3. Canada
4. Having to leave PHL this week
5. Friends who tell AG what to do (Though L cubed took some of it back!)
6. Angry Jewish Joel
7. Christmas decorations at the hotel in November
8. Curt Shilling
9. Arlen Spector
10.Facebook
AG's Top 10 loves this week
1. The honest couple who turned in my laptop in PHX.
2. My IT department for the rebuild within six hours
3. Adorable Boyfriend for thanking me profusely for being the cute birthday gift that showed up on Friday night. (Even if someone wasn't "kissey face")
4. Lisa's David. Looooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeee!
5. Not having a black and blue mark on my tuckus this week
6. The 10lbs lost this week
7. The rooftop pool
8. AG Momma for saying, "I don't understand why you didn't kick him in the crouch."
9. The Jewish Boys of California
10.The genius who first made vodka
11. Bonus: The New York Jets!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
In A Blue Mood
Maybe I shouldn't get involved, but I think This needs a response. A most harsh response.
What is he gonna do? I'm already a zombie.
Kathleen, maybe this will help:
One for the Bluetator:
And one for Snag, just like wind whistling through skulls:
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
What Goes On...
I've written before about the ITunes Genius. It does require uploading your musical tastes to a central database, but hey, I'm already on the HUAC and no-fly list, so giving Apple some of my data seems like small blue M&Ms, right? For a while, Genius would get stumped by obscure music, but it seems to be getting better. This afternoon, it came up with this (check out the initializing song: Byron, by the Mekons. Back when they were so punk, one chord was too many).
- Byron, The Mekons
- What Goes On, The Velvet Undreground
- Powderfinger, Neil Young and Crazy Horse (live)
- Satisfaction (I Can't Get No), Devo
- Fearless, Pink Floyd
- A Forest, The Cure
- Lips Like Sugar, Echo and the Bunnymen
- Cars, Gary Numan
- Gold Lion, Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- Icky Thump, The White Stripes
- rosanne, The Mekons
- Pictures, Galaxie 500
- Conduit For Sale, Pavement
- 'Cause It's Love (Saint Parallelogram), Robyn Hitchcock and the Venus Three
- In Between Days (The Cure)
- Whip It, Devo
- Space Oddity, David Bowie
- Work All Week, The Mekons
- We Love You, The Psychedelic Furs
- Fable Of The Brown Ape, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds
- Poledo, Dinosaur Jr.
- Here Comes Your Man, The Pixies
- Here Comes A City, The Go-Betweens
- The Killing Moon, Echo And The Bunnymen
- Certain Songs, The Hold Steady
Now that's a playlist I can relate to. How do you pigeonhole that, Zelmo? But I'm telling you, three glasses of whine and a pretty good day, it sound just fine sittin here.
Well played, iTunes, well played indeed.
There is something about the sore losers that has gone crusty and stale. I would argue that something, something is the comparison of Liberal Democrats to Hitler and suggesting that said individuals are going to repeal gun ownership rights in America. This kind of speak is a thinly layered veil of crazy, in my opinion.
Is it me or despite whatever they are talking about it always leads back to accusing Mr. Obama of taking away their guns. Honestly? There is really something disturbing about the gun culture of America. The disturbance has a myriad of shades but for the greatest is their lack of knowledge of civil justice, the Bill of Rights, the Supreme Court and the very unlikely chance even if President-elect Obama wanted to overtun gun ownership in America, he actually could. It's not like this side is like Mr. Bush who rolled back their civil rights, especially freedom of speech, in the name of "terrorism" and the majority of Americans bent over and let it happen while they sucked their thumbs.
Rather I suspect there will be a whole lot of out of work government contractors who used to gain their living by fighting "terrorism". That is the "Marxist" behavior these folks should really be concentrating on.
Seriously.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Hookers and Blow
Some weekends are too epic to be discussed. Some weekends are too, well just too, to be discussed. And some weekends don't involve you and that's a good thing. Oh wait...
The best kinds of weekends usually start with AG waking up in a boy's bed without any voice and ending with a walk on the canals with Chuckles without any voice.
That's just how some weekends rock and roll.
It gets more awesome when Chuckles plays along by sitting next to a man whose property is adjacent to Joe Biden's and he's probably worth a couple Gs himself and chows down on free Indian food while discussing his science fiction writing and how he knows AG with Dr. Misanthrope. (Apparently AG is getting such a staring role in Doc's life, he went and looked up what exactly a blog was after hearing AG talk about one. What will he look up after she admitted she made out with John Kerry's staffer, once.)
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Friday, November 07, 2008
Blown Away
to eliminate the sour, bitter taste of the previous post, here's this:
Digby reports that amongst all the hullabaloo and inconsequential ramblings of National Security professionals, intense debate and negotiation over the first puppy proceeds apace. due to allergical issues, one of the solutions presented is known as a goldendoodle, pictured above.
Say it with me now:
AWWWWWWWWWWWW...
Really Late, Better Than Doing Anything Productive Friday Random Musical Spew, Yes I've Had A c Couple Of Drinks Already So Fire Me, You Bastard, Zelmo Never Drops By Anymore So I'm sending His Address To Snag So Snag Can send His Minnesota Children To Zelmo's House Edition. Of Friday. Music.
well, I've finally more-or-less recovered from my hangover, and I discover that Barack Obama still won. For a couple of days now, I woke up thinking it was a dream.
Having said that, I will be first out of the gate expressing disappointment with the Failed Obama Administration. His selection of Rahm Emanuel indicates that contrary to all the best advice from Rightwing pundits, he will not be governing as a Republican. This indicates, of course, his radical leftward slant, which is totally out of step with America, including all 62 million people who voted for him.
Seriously, I don't know about Rahm. I've always hated his centrist, triangulating, Republican Lite tendencies, but am willing to concede that his skills in herding cats may be a useful counterpoint to Obama's conciliatory impulses. Tell you what; I am willing to give him until January 21st to fix everything. If not, that's it I'm voting for Newt.
So anyways, the iTunes has been playing all day, but I'm jumping right in:
1. Chesea Hotel '78, Alejandro Escovedo. After his brush with death, he released the required introspective album, and this is off his rocking follow up, Real Animal. A review of his life in SF punk bands and other parts of his music career. He played much of it during his appearance at Summerfest, and from what I hear it really worked better than Lucinda William's later set.
2. Mating Call of Gray Treefrog. North American Frogs. This is a great nature disc, of froggy sounds. each one is just a few seconds, introduced by some guy who sounds like a voice actor from Ren and Stimpy. The noises sound like something horrible created by a Moog. On random, they fit into my music wonderfully, and usually make anybody listening got WTF and wonder if they're having a flashback.
3. Is This It, The Strokes. Another Next Big Thing But Not Quite. This album is pretty good, but sounds much better on a single song basis in random play. I never even went for their second album and they're probably all working in IT now.
4. Point of Know Return, Kansas. Sheesh, yeah, you read that right. Fuckit, I'm not apologizing, I like Kansas. Ummm, but the lyrics work better in Michigan. If you know what I mean.
5. Trigga Hiccups, Menomena. umm, yeah. Like a japanese DEVO playing Genesis covers.
6. Who Will Be There, Ziggy Marley. Yes, I saw Ziggy. At Summerfest.
7. Certain Kind Of Girl, The Producers. Power Pop heaven for me and Zelmo. sad that he won't be here to see it. Sigh.
7.5. Problems, Ziggy marley. I've got iTunes set to be more likely to play songs by the same artist. It works over an eniter day, but can be a problem if it gets stuck on Styx or something.
8. Bicycle Spaniard, Cracker. Near-prog. David Lowery is never content to work within a narrow genre, and bless him for it. CVB's recent performance at Shank Hall was much better than Cracker's at Summerfest, but I'm not gonna hold that against him. Summerfest is a tough gig.
9. I Ain't The One, The Angels (Angel City). I've got an unexplained fondness for this band. Of all things, my younger brother turned me on to them way back in the day, and they have a tendency to try and walk a fine line between punk and metal. The music comes closer to AC/DC in some ways, but the lyrics of alienation and disgust are totally punk. And since it's completely unlikely to come up on the frickin radio, I like it. A US tour is extremely unlikely, and since McCain didn't win, I probably am not emigrating to OZ.
10. Final Straw, REM.
11. Vicious, Big Country. Ill-considered cover of the Lou Reed song.
12. Wild Youth, Generation X. Almost the last time Billy Idol made a difference. Certainly the first time.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
I've Seen a Million Faces and I've Baracked Them All
I am about to leave for a speaking engagement in our nation's capital because AG and change are comin'. So, I owe you the full story of how if you look very very closely for a tall blonde in the video below, she might just be Dr. AG! What you won't see is the brown haired boy with the killer blue eyes whose arms AG woke up in this morning! That story will have to wait with Bubie's post until I get back from DC on Sunday.
Also, AG is on Philadelphia Weekly's webpage, will be writing for them for pay in the near future(One business cards, two breasts and no waiting is all that took!), and there is a picture of her and LLL screaming "No More Bush!" within seconds of seeing Obama win at the Lowe's Hotel in Center City in the Philadelphia Inquirer. AG and LLL were the token white girls who rocked Philly last night and the Obamarazzi until the hottie picked our drunk asses up and took us back to his abode for 1 AM after hours and things Blue Girl never wants to see on her virgin computer screen!
Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Feel Good Ghosts
That felt good.
Check back later; might be liveblogging. looks like everybody else will be drinking.
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Monday, November 03, 2008
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