All tomorrow's parties

No comments allowed. Keep your freckin opinions to yourself, Elliot Ness

Friday Random Ten, South Pacific edition:


Note of explanation. We went to see the Skylight Theater's performance of SP last week. Now, maybe it was just that I was in no mood for a lighthearted musical, but let me sum this up and see if any of you can spot the fuckin Irony:

Major plot point of the opera: How ridiculous bigotry and racism is, exemplified by 1: the female leads disgust at the idea that her love interest's tallywahcker might have penetrated a native woman; and 2: the male lead's inability to actually contemplate marrying a Polynesian. Rogering her all day long, fine; marriage? He runs directly into the most dangerous mission he could find!

And all through the play, the characters are INCESSANTLY obsessing about wiping out those dastardly Japs. Jap this Jap that, gonna go kill us some Japs.

Well, I guess at least they didn't break down and start using the phrase Nips. I could go on, I guess.

Well, I guess you don't necessarily look to Rodgers and Hammerstein for meaningful social statements, but jeez. Count me soundly unimpressed. Although I will admit to being pleasantly surprised by the inclusion of the song “Happy Talk”, because I was familiar with a punk version done by Captain Sensible.



How about an all-christmas set:


elf 1: Precious Child from the album “Must Be Santa! The Rounder Christmas Album” by Trischka, Tony
elf 2: Peace On Earth-Little Drummer Boy from the album “The Edge Of Christmas” by Bing Crosby & David Bowie
elf 3: All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth from the album “Just In Time For Christmas” by Dread Zeppelin
elf 4: Taking Down The Tree from the album “Christmas” by Low
elf 5: First Noel from the album “A Lump Of Coal” by Crash Test Dummies
elf 6: Carol of the Bells from the album “Barenaked for the Holidays” by Barenaked Ladies
elf 7: Blue Holiday from the album “Must Be Santa! The Rounder Christmas Album” by Charles Brown
elf 8: The Boar's Head from the album “The Bells Of Dublin” by The Chieftains
elf 9: O Come All Ye Faithful from the album “The Bells Of Dublin” by The Chieftains
elf 10 (the BAD elf): (Let's Have) A Patrick Swayze Christmas from the album “Clowns In The Sky” by Mystery Science Theater 3000

Here's the lyrics to that last:

Open up your heart and let the Patrick Swayze Christmas in.
We'll gather at the Roadhouse with our next of kin.
And Santa can be our regular Saturday night thing.
We'll decorate our barstools and gather round and sing.

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas this year!
Or we'll tear your throat out and kick you in the ear!

It's my way or the highway, this Christmas at my ba-ha-haar.
I'll have to smash your kneecaps if you bastards touch my car!
I got the word that Santa has been stealing from the till.
I think that that right jolly old elf better make out his will, ohh,

Oh, let's have a Patrick Swayze Christmas, one and all.
And this can be the haziest...
This can be the laziest...
This can be the Swayziest
Christmas of them aaallllllllll!

And, because it's another season of excess, how about some seasonal bonus tracks:

reindeer 1: Silent Night from the album “Just In Time For Christmas” by Molly Johnson & Norman Orenstein
reindeer 2: It's Christmas Time from the album “Horny Holidays!” by Mojo Nixon & The Toadliquors If you didn't know better, it would sound like the Blues Brothers.
reindeer 3: Snowman from the album “Barenaked for the Holidays” by Barenaked Ladies
reindeer 4: God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen from the album “Christmas” by Bruce Cockburn
reindeer 5: Yo Ho Ho from the album “Just In Time For Christmas” by Klark Kent


And a super bonus, extra special Christmas Gift Song from some friends: Click here to hear Blue Girl and Neddie Jingo!





Non-traditional, certainly. But hey, that's what the War on Christmas is all about. Bill O'Reilly wants a war, we'll give him one. Chunderbag won't be able to figure out what his him (hint: It'll be a fruitcake. An all- organic one).

The Perfect Crime

stupid criminal


The truth of the bell curve, in all its statistical glory; a lot of criminals are outside the deviations on the left side of the intelligence curve, as is so wonderfully demonstrated here.


At first, I was so disappointed that we couldn't hear what he was saying, whenever he fell. But at the end, when he resigns himself and sits on the keg to smoke a cig and wait for someone to arrive, the silent resignation in his pose is truly sublime.

The errant aim on trying to take out the camera with a bottle of wine is great also.

Pattern Recognition

Man I love randomness. Part of the Universe, in all its uncaring glory.

A great meme I steal without guilt from Aunt Twisty at I Blame The Patriarchy:

Pick up the nearest book, go to page 123 and reproduce the sixth through eight sentences.

Depending on what direction I turn, that would either be The Wisconsin Enrolled Commercial Code

720.3.1.4 Airspaces and cells filled with loose-fill material. The equivalent thickness of completely filled hollow concrete masonry is the actual thickness of the unit when loose-fill materials are: sand, pea gravel, crushed stone or slag that meet ASTM C 33 requirements; pumice, scoria, expanded slag, expanded fly ash, or cinders that comply with ASTM C 331; or perlite or vermiculite meeting the requirements of ASTM C 549 and C 516, respectively.

720.3.2 Concrete masonry walls.

Wasn't that great? Makes you want to pound your head against a... well, a hollow concrete masonry wall filled with.... you get the idea. Dull and meaningless, perhaps, but such is my life.

Turning another, possibly more fulfilling direction, we come across The Celebration Chronicles by Andrew Ross, a report on his year spent in Disney's model town (I drove thru Celebration while in Orlando; further reports anon):

The flame flexes into a loopy vortex and funnels upward, arching hopefully toward the top of the chicken wire that encloses the experiment. No one has said a word for twenty minutes. I have never seen this group of students in a more attentive mood, with the exception of Sex Ed classes, and even then they cut their questions with bittersweet cool: “How many calories do you burn during sex?” (Answer 65-70 cals) “Why do old people still do it?” (Answer: Sheer pleasure).

More interesting and lively, certainly, but just as meaningless without context. A useful metaphor for the universe, grasshopper, upon which you may dwell for the next several weeks. When you reach enlightenment, you will understand why Shemp is not funny.

Old Shit/New Shit

Here's the shittin Friday shitstained Random Musical shit, comin out shit-late, dedicated to all the shit-fuckin shithead shitpiles makin today shitfor, may you all shitting rot in festering shit until you shittin pony up your shittin overdue bills.

Shit.

20700 shitting songs from 1800 shitting albums, on 82 shitstained gigs of for-shit hard drive.

1. Don't Stop Me Now from the album “Jazz” by Queen . You're shitting me.
2. Hate from the album “American Caesar” by Iggy Pop Now we're fuckin talking.
3. Revenge from the album “Ovo” by Peter Gabriel Oh yeah.
4. Winterlong from the album “Complete ”B“ Sides” by Pixies
5. Travis Bickle from the album “Indestructible” by Rancid
6. What It Is from the album “Stranger Than Fiction” by Bad Religion
7. The Conqueror Worm from the album “The Raven ” by Lou Reed. Sweet.
8. Maybe, This Time from the album “Oh No” by OK Go
9. We Americans from the album “Off The Charts” by The Briefs
10. Ripe (with decay) from the album “The Fragile (Right)” by Nine Inch Nails Yes it is.




Bonus Shit:

shit. R.L. Got Soul from the album “Now I Got Worry” by The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion The Explosion don't come up much.
shit shit. Texarkana from the album “Out of Time” by R.E.M. Not mopey enough.
shitcubed. Slightly South Of The Border from the album “Edge Of The World” by Mekons Good ending. Although “Oblivion” might have been better

Christian Militia

Does the Religious Right even READ teh Bible anymore? Or is it just certain parts of it that support their own violent, hate-filled worldview?

The Left Behind wackoids have released a computer video game that combines the 'best' of a blood n gore, first person shootemup with the intolerance and hatred of evangelical Christianity, where players are to force characters to convert, or kill them.

I think I missed that part of Christ's life in my Sunday School classes. Did he tote an automatic weapon, or rely on biblical smiting?

Always in league with the ReichWing, our family friendly Wal-Mart is carrying the games.

And although Hillary Clinton finds a way to ignore REAL violence and death in Iraq, Afghanistan, Darfur, and New York in favor of buddying up to Lieberman (Independent-Narcissist) to get all wound up about video game sex n violence (which, at last count, has killed exactly NO ONE); I am somehow sure she will find a way to ignore this particular little gem.

Feh. America is a weird, uptight, place, run by the weirdest and most uptight.

The World Has Changed

The Democrats are showing hopeful signs of taking their exile from power to heart, and starting their sessions with some positive steps:

• Steny Hoyer will establish a five day congressional work week as standard, in lieu of the three-day backbreaker that recent Republicans favored. Republican ankle-biters complain that this will take a toll on their families and serve to disconnect them from their constituents. Welcome to the Working Week , fellas. It's not like you guys are doing anything important, right?
• Harry Reid has pledged that there will be no Congressional pay raise until the minimum wage is increased. Sounds fair to me. Nice one, Harry.
• Nancy Pelosi, apparently not having heard that the Corporate Media has declared hers a failed Leadership, has taken steps to move quite a few of the Freshman class of Democrats into committees and other positions with some influence, looking for balance with a traditional rigid seniority based system. This is in keeping with the desires of the voters, who overwhelmingly signaled a desire for change and new influences.
• Pelosi is also planning to act to protect pages from further Foley-style abuse, making the pledge board bi-partisan and incorporating parents.

And a predictably small minded move from the outgoing Republican criminal class: the 109th Congress is leaving Washington with the spending bills (which, for those of you unfamiliar with how government works, is how the country keeps operating on a day-to-day basis) incomplete and un-approved, leaving them for the Democrats in a transparent attempt to obstruct and slow down the changes that the new Congress wants to institute.

Side note on how the Democrats have turned this to the good: they will be taking the opportunity to axe a whole complement of earmarked pork from the budgetary items. Ahhh! Fiscal responsibility, I remember this. Feels good.

And a final, negative note. Apparently Rahm Emmanuel, head of the Washington-oriented DCCC and slavish devotee to the Clinton-era 'triangulation' strategy, had some knowledge of Mark Foley's behavior, and possibly knowledge of some of the communications. This is not allowable.

Emmanuel is too entrenched in the standard way of doing 'business' in Washington as it is, milking the lobbying system as well as any Republican ever did. He opposed many populist Democratic candidates in the last election, preferring corporate oriented insiders, Republican Lites, most of whom lost (anyone want to say Harold Ford?). He opposed Dean's 50 state strategy, until after the election when it became obvious that it was successful, then was happy to take the credit.

And now it's discovered that he had knowledge of a sexual predator within Congress, hunting pages; and apparently did nothing about it. Shit, he might as well be Denny Hastert. He's got to go. Hopefully, he will be part of a fuller investigation, and face the consequences of his inaction.

All in all, very promising moves from Them Terrist-Lovin' Democrats. And already miles ahead of the Republican rubber-stamp 109th. Hopefully, they can keep it up and show that us liberals have been right all along.

Frustration

Image courtesy the Goddess Echidne

Home By Saturday

Title of a song by Hayden, Canuck king of the low-fi bedroom recorders.


Late Friday Double random ten: first selected randomly from the 20,000 or so on my hard drive, then played randomly from the iPod shuffle.



1. The Kids Don't Understand (live recording) Too Much Joy.
2. Rhinestone Cowboy, Soul Asylum. I don't know why they like this song so much.
3. TV Party. Black Flag. Classic.
4. Self Obsessed and Sexxy, Sonic Youth.
5. Golden Lark (i'm taking a mulligan on the band. Try and figure it out)
6. Back Up Against The wall, Rancid. Old schoolish punky.
7. Miles From Nowhere, The Smithereens
8. Blue Eyes, The Cary Brothers (off the Garden State Soundtrack, which is apparently derided by the Pitchforkers).
9. Paper Lies, Marillion.
10. Scars, Rush.

See you guys after we get back. Have you gotten rid of the snow for us yet?

Friday kitty

Countdown

Hey from Orlando.

Although the Office apparently has crashed, burst into flames, been infested by gremlins, fell over AND sank into the swamp the first day I was gone (could someone go by and see if the plant survived?) we are down here for one of them, whaddaya call 'em.... vacations.

No snow down here. Huh.

Later in the week we hope to hit Cape Canaveral to catch a shuttle launch. Can't help it, I was a space baby. Final Frontier, and all that.

Snowbound

Blue Girl was wishing for snow on some other blog somewhere, and since she is Powerful but apparently sucking in the aim department; we got it here.

I got home at ten last night; by six this morning, six inches of fluffy lake effect was covering everything.

How Christmas-y ! (Yes I said Christmas, O'Reilly, you pasty faced goon. And I'm an atheist; later this year I'll be throwing a holiday party and sending X-mas cards. Bwa-ha-ha-ha! All brought to you courtesy of the War On Christmas)

I had to make an appointment, so I am working; the dilettantes all stayed home. Dozens of people are helping to push cars up hills and out of parking spots. Nothing like a snow storm to bring out a bit of the old help-your-neighbor.

This is a real Wisconsin snow; and barely slowed the City down.

It's packing snow, too. Think I'll go pick a snowball fight with a conservative.


I hope this storm veers east and dumps all this wintery goodness right on BG. She deserves it.